Six of Mountain Island's finest made it out into the foggy gloom to challenge themselves and compete to their fullest ability in all of the events that make up the Quarry De-NAT-thlon.
Warm-o-Rama
– High Knees, Butt Kicks, Karaoke x 2, SSH, Toy Soldier, Cherry Pickers, Windmills, Mercans
The Thang
Come get yo' bricks (911 chose the paver option – I like to think it’s a judgment free zone at the back of the Suburban. Yeah, I’d like to think that…)
Take bricks and run to back parking lot. Plan is to do a variety of exercises, with some of them having a very loose correlation to one of the 10 different decathlon events (err, De-NAT-thlon for those a bit slow on the uptake). And since the Q for the Quarry Decathlon was Natty Lite….(light bulbs are faintly flickering somewhere)
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Decline brick mercans on curb (10 I/C)
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Brick Dips on curb (10 I/C)
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Relay Race (400 Meter Event) – Pax separates into 3 teams of 2 partners each.First partner on a team runs around track with bricks in hand while other partner does a brick plank.When first partner gets closer, second partner gets ready for the “brick baton pass” and continues around track while first partner assumes the brick plank position.Do this four times (two laps for each partner)
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Brick lunge to back of school (Hurdle)
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Nat-a-pult (Brick Shot-Put).Line up on edge of the back lot behind school facing the grass.Using the proper form, use brick as a shot put to see who can throw it the farthest.Use strong hand for the first brick shot put, and use weak hand for second throw
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Peoples Chair with bricks held overhead against school (Hurdle). This may have been a reach, but Pax position resembles a hurdle (flat base, sticking up) when assuming the People’s Chair position.Most other hurdles I have seen are not this twitchy/shaky after 30 seconds or so of being upright
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Pole Vault. This looked a lot like pull-ups (10 OYO), but there was definitely a pole involved in the exercise
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Mosey with bricks in hand over to the long jump area (garden area in front of school). Using the benches there, do 10 jump ups (Long Jumps), with brick accompaniment being optional but encouraged
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Squats with alternating arm brick shoulder presses – 20 I/C
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Front shoulder raises with bricks – 20 I/C
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Bent over reverse shoulder flies with bricks – 20 I/C
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Mosey back to back corner parking lot.Partner up again for wheel barrow/bear crawl/crab walk (not a decathlon event but should be).One partner carries legs while other partner on the wheel barrow moves arms forward for 20 yards. Switch positions and come 20 yards back. Then all Pax bear crawl back 20 yards, and then crab walk back another 20 yards
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High jump. This looked a lot like brick burpees, and while the finishing part of the exercise may not have been that “high” form a vertical perspective, there was some semblance of a slight jump in there if you looked hard
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Walk back to front parking lot basking in the glow of camaraderie from successfully completing all of the De-NAT-thlon events
Mary
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WWII sit-ups with overhead bricks – 15 single count
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Mason brick twist – 20 I/C
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Leg lifts with bricks with each Pax counting down from 10 at their preferred pace
Moleskine
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Arizona showed up tardy but all was forgiven since his arrival allowed for an even number of participants
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Glove distribution harkens back to the time growing up as a youth near a friend’s dairy farm in Northern California. The dairy farmers had a special form of glove that went past the elbow to provide for the proper application/insertion of baby cow batter for the artificial insemination of female cows/heifers. Popeye was not a welcome site at the farm.
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The use of “before” and “after” butt selfies can really help to track the progress with your workouts. The challenge is ensuring that there is proper lighting.
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Arizona carries his bricks on the relay close and tight to the body to reduce resistance and drag
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No bricks were dropped during the “brick baton pass” and therefore there were no disqualifications
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911 swapped his paver for a regulation brick during the nat-a-pult event.Double Double is the reigning champion (on both throws), as he managed to get some significant brick roll on his throws
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Q is on record as really liking shoulder exercises.However, last shoulder exercise caused audible groans from Pax not heard since the insemination days on the dairy farm
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El Tigre’s moves his hips like Antonio Brown after a touchdown while assuming the bottom of the wheel barrow position
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The De-NAT-thlon left out some events like discus and javelin due to limited umbrella liability coverage and CMS ban on that type of activity within 100 yards of a school
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In lieu of anthems and limited time, Pax shares what nationality they are competing for (Sergio has apparently traced his family tree back to the Tribe of Dan)
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All De-NAT-thlon scoring is unofficial until the results of the urinalysis come back
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Way to compete men!