*FNG Tim Cooksey courtesy of Beefcake EH
29 of Lake Norman's finest gathered in the gloom for an impromptu tour of Oakhurst and history lesson from the collective Old Guard. Let's hope they learned something.
The Thang:
Jog to the uneven grassy terrain of the common area where Moses first had us farmer carry REPEATEDLY the length of the field, sidewalk to sidewalk. What's wrong wth that guy? Who is going to follow him? This workout thing he brought up from Charlotte has little to no chance for success. Seriously.
SSH X 25 (That is 50 total for my age if you guys haven't figured that out yet. Yep, talking at you Gump)
Pax complained the ground was uneven, cold and even wet and they didn't want to get their hands cold this early, so I tried to not make any millennials cry (SERIOUSLY, COLLEGES AND HIGH SCHOOLS TOLD KIDS IF THEY WERE TOO UPSET WITH THE ELECTION RESULTS, THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO TAKE THEIR TESTS OR EVEN COME TO CLASS. GLAD THAT IS WHO MY KIDS WILL BE COMPETING WITH FOR JOBS. HAH!) So I kept everyone upright for the warm-up
Cotton Pickers X 15
IST X 15
Windmills X 15
Jog to the bottom of Mountie's hill where Mountie when asked if he remembered the hill and the first time we were there (he was the Q, we did an awful Jacob's Ladder after an awful lotta running) and he answered in typical Mountie fashion "yep"
THE BURPEE at the top
10 Mericans at the bottom
Jog to the square at the center of Oakhurst where I Q'ed the first C2C (Corner-toCorner) workout way back before anyone other than Bama could remember it. It was a great workout. That was before my cervical disc herniation and I could do Burpees (that's right, I typed plural) without subsequent headaches, but I probably still didn't like them so we probably didn't do many. But I am old now and can't remember what I ate for breakfast yet alone a workout from 5 years ago. What did I eat for breakfast?
C2C workout with THE Burpee, 10 Mericans, 10 Squats at corner # 1, jog to next corner
THE Burpee, 10 Mericans, 10 Squats, 10 CDD, jog to next corner and DISCLAIMER!!!!
HALLOWED GROUND – YHC waxed poetically (not really) but with great nostalgia on the non-descript grassy area where we first did the impromptu Airborne MindBender. As I recall Gnarly Goat was about to pass out from too many Mericans (perish the thought now of too many Mericans for GG) or else he required a moment of deep thought, contemplation and meditation before he DKTPed Primo for wearing tights without shorts. Well, either way that was where it first happened. SO we did a brief Airborne MindBender in honor of Gnarly Goat. Callahan and I were there and to this day continue to share a sincere love for the Airborne MindBender. The Pax was clearly non-plussed at this history lesson or the Airborne MindBender (sorry GG) and so we departed, truly not devoting the time or reverence this exercise deserves.
We jogged to the rails (why yes Geek, these are in fact the first rails incorporated into an Isotope workout by Moses back in the dark ages) at the bottom of sled hill. Ah, yes Sled Hill. Site of the first workout in the snow and prior to that another Moses led disaster in the rain where we did another Jacob's ladder (Now that we changed our name to @F3LKN/@F3lakenorman, can we just get over this fascination with burpees plural) where every single one of us slid down the hill at some point due to the slippery conditions, and that was prior to the Disclaimer. Just sayin'
At the HolygRAIL we did the following:
One legged Squats X 10 IC each leg
Australian Pull-ups X 10 IC
Dericans X 10 IC
Grab a rock from the rock pile, keep your hands to your own rock
Curls X 10 IC
Shoulder press X 10 IC
Sumo Squats X 10 IC
Curl to shoulder press X 10 IC
Quadriphilia to the top of the hill while the pax marvels at the use of the word UNDULATION and caution urged by Hat Trick, who unfortunately could not spell said word which was a real downer for the pax after genuine amazement at his use of such a great scrabble word in the appropriate context of an F3 workout. At the top, we reminisced about the worst workout ever, when Primo effectively ran out of exercise ideas and had the small pax broad jump 500+ yards to the end of the street. It was a whole lotta broad jumping.
Back to your rock for:
Curls X 10 IC
Shoulder press X 10 IC
Sumo Squats X 10 IC
Curl to shoulder press X 10 IC
Skull Crushers added X 10 IC at Callahan's request with a BS call which frankly was the weakest BS call for any workout I have ever Q'ed or attended, and I am frankly embarrassed to mention it here. So please disregard.
Jog past the grassy knoll where we first did the Airborne MindBender with Gnarly Goat without even a pause for respect of Gnarly Goat and his wonderful creation (sorry GG).
On to the next corner:
THE Burpee, 10 Mericans, 10 Squats, 10 CDD and 20 (I said 20 LBCs) at which point I noticed Holiday was missing from the pax, which caused me considerable concern as he had been a great athletic supporter for the Week of the Outlaw up to that point, but alas the show must go on
On to the Final Corner – usually when we got to the 4th corner in the early days of F3 Callahan would go on and on about how great Dean Smith was, how the 4 corners offense and spreading the court was so ahead of its time, yada yada yada while Wolfpacker Moses would roll his eyes, Primo, DT, Bama, Ludi and I would just plank with blank, vacant stares and give the inventor of Pillow Talk (initially the V-UP) his due.
THE Burpee, 10 Mericans, 10 Squats, 10 CDD, 20 LBCs and 20 Rosalitas
We then ran back to the bars alongside Bailey Road and repeated
One legged Squats X 10 IC each leg
Australian Pull-ups X 10 IC
Dericans X 10 IC
Jog back to the 131 Main launching pad for 8 1/2 minutes of Mary. The pax was inquisitive as to why the 8 1/2 minutes of Mary. because sometimes 6 simply won't do. At that point, if there were someone from the Davidson pax there, a "That's what she said" comment would have rung out, but no visas were available from the PRoD today apparently.
Callahan correctly identified himself as the bestower of his own name, as my compadre from the very start, Callahan has been an apt and quite appropriate nickname and far better than the hideous nickname that OBT and Dredd came up with. So we did Homer to Marge with Scissors until he said stop.
I then mistakenly called on Primo who assumed wrongly that everyone knew the origin of his nickname – he did P90-X with RBC for 9 months before F3 even started. He did additional Homer to Marge with One-legged Low Dollys until I STOPPED HIM.
Gump was EH'ed by Moses and named by YHC. Name is Birch, Don't lose sight of the forrest for the trees, hence Gump. And he was, oh, sorry Gump, IS a marine. He led pretzel crunches with a great cadence, but uneven counts for each leg and I have felt lopsided since. Damn Gump.
I called on Dallas who is a descendent of Gnarly Goat via Simba. He hates his nickname. Which I gave him. He didn't get to lead any exercises.
Bama, surprisingly for some in the pax, hates Nick Satan and the Rolling Tide, he actually hails from West Virginia, I don't know, ask Moses. He named him. We did Heels to Heaven for him.
The final exercise was led by Snake Eyes, one of the best nicknames in all of Lake Norman F3. Of course, it had to be the shoulder touch Merican.
I apologize for not getting to the other OGs in attendance DT, Possum, Thug, and Mountie. Frankly, Primo was too slow and Gump did 2 spearate abdominal exercises. I blame them.
So if you skipped to the bottom for the Naked Man Moleskin (who wants to look at naked men's moleskins – really not that kind of group) – sorry, it is embedded in the Backblast above. Thanks again to all who have come out to celebrate the Week of the Outlaw! 2 more chances Friday at Cauldron and Saturday at BRP or whatever they changed its name to this week.
Peace. Out.
Outlaw