10 Pax posted for my virgin Q ball-busting beat down. The rain threatened to post but stayed in the fartsack, so we got wet the old-fashioned way—we EARNED it.
The only thing I really learned at Q school last Saturday was to do the disclaimer, so naturally I forgot that. All veteran PAX in the lineup, it seems, so no harm. I did do the “old guy” disclaimer, though: I got tinnitus at a Pat Benatar concert in ’81 and I don't hear well, so count loud so I don’t lose track and inadvertently go long on the reps. 100% compliance on that, thank you very much!
WARM-O-RAMA
- Fast Mosey all the way 'round the big lot 1/4 mile
- 25 Side Straddle Hops.
- 20 Imperial Storm Troopers.
- 20 Girl Fights (YHC’s invention: arms swinging wildly in a big arc, in cadence—kind of). Some grumblechatter (new word) makes me think it’s a keeper.
- 20 Ghost of Bobby Hurleys (In spirit only because I forgot to call them, even though it’s my namesake exercise. Just as well, in hindsight.)
- 10 Slow Merkins with last-rep hold.
THE THANG
- Hill Run with Limbo Slalom: Around the big lot, up the back-road hill to Stumptown Road, back down and run in and out of the pylons and under the chains. No one got decapitated. So far, so good.
- 20 Hanging Leg Lifts OYO (I couldn’t see everyone, but from the sound of it, few were loving it).
- 10 Worst Merkins Ever (wide arm + regular + diamond = 1, in sequence, in cadence). Forgot to test this one out first, so YHC almost didn’t make it. Qdrenaline pulled me through.
- 10 Karate Kid Squats each leg (YHC invention–essentially one-leg squats with arms and wrists in weird Crane Kick position, because Miagi.) Lots of wobbling because we all forgot to practice waxing off.
It was my first time at this AO, but I scoped it out the day before and found the 33-lb cinder blocks, so…
- 10 Skull Crushers with last-rep Hold (awkward and dangerous–I’m not used to the cinder blocks–but we muddled through without incident).
- 10 Full curls with last-rep Hold
- 10 Shoulder Presses with last-rep Hold
- 20 Bent-Over Rows (although I heard a lot of blocks hit the asphalt after 10, we all finished together, which is just considerate and certainly the proper etiquette when dealing with a virgin Q).
- 10-count recover with a couple of repeated numbers to get in that extra breath.
- Mosey to prayer circle in the woods
- Step-Ups for duration of 23rd Psalm as recited (slowly) by YHC
Pax was tapped for a bible verse or poem to recite to completion during the next exercise (or default to looong poem by YHC). Scarface (maybe–it was dark) volunteered with something that was decidedly NOT site-appropriate, which he said was a rap song, but I’m not sure it’s even music, so…
- Triceps Dips for duration of “Ice Ice Baby” (was it just my imagination or was it playing on 78 speed toward the end?) We desperately needed the baseline that Vanilla Ice shamelessly stole from Bowie/Queen’s “Under Pressure,” but all we had was out-of-sync grunting for accompaniment.
Partner up
- Partner 1 does Lunges all the way down the hill, then Bernies (backwards running) up the hill on the other side.
- Partner 2 does Burpees (that’s right) the whole time 1 is gone. (Elevated grumblechatter.)
- Switch roles, see how the other half lives.
- 10-count recover
- Run to fountain
- 20 Bicycles on fountain with arms in the air like we just don’t care. Nobody fell in, but grumblechatter was heard as reps 10 and 15 passed by without even a whistlestop.
- 10 Incline Merkins
My watch died due to sweat intrusion, so somebody said it was time for Marys.
MARY
- 20 Little Baby Flutter Crunches in cadence (was that thunder or grumbling I heard as we rolled past 10 and 15?)
- Upward Dog 1 minute
- Elbow Plank 2 minutes
- Upward Dog 1 minute
- 20 Low Dollys in cadence to put an exclamation point on the ab pain.
Recover Recover
CIRCLE OF TRUST:
Mostly secular take-out with a world-perspective gratitude theme.
Bonus thought by YHC:
Gratitude felt is desirable.
Gratitude shared is dignified.
Gratitude in action is divine.
Finished with “Let There Be Peace on Earth” in honor of Quick Stop, whose “One Thing” is nothing less than “world peace.” Lyrics modified slightly: “Let me walk (and run and do burpees) with my brother.”
MOLESKIN:
That was so much fun! Triple Claps to the 9 men who took my virginity today (you don’t know how long I’ve dreamed of writing those words). Sorry about the burpees, men, but I do love them so. The “rap” song rendition was unintentionally irreverent, but my funniest F3 moment so far!
Thanks to Jolly Roger for the Quopportunity (trying to coin some new terms here), to Moses for the intro to F3, to the gazelle-like Waffle House for staying back with me during my first Murph (not sure I would have stayed in F3 had I been left behind), and to the founders and sustainers of F3 who, for the sake of a bunch of sweaty guys, sacrifice their most precious resource: time.
When I arrived here from Florida (not New Jersey, FYI) in September I didn’t know anyone, but F3 has given me discipline, camaraderie, good health, and friendship. And to think, when I posted to my first workout, I was really worried–and a little excited–that one of the F’s might stand for Fight Club (getting beat up: yes, but fighting: no). I love you all, brothers!