The Template

Event Date

Jun 13, 2017


Seven of this continents non-fartsacking finest made it out on a humid Tuesday morning to help fill out The Template, and also participate in the inaugural merkin mercan marathon. What follows is a general recollection of just what whassup.    

Warm-o-Rama

High knees, butt kicks, side shuffle x 2, backwards run, SSH, TS, Windmill, Cotton freakin’ cherry pickers and Mercans. 

The Thang

Merkin mercan marathon. Three laps around the school with a smattering of different things along the way

1st lap

Mosey to back

  • 10 part meet your maker mercans x 10

Mosey to jungle gym

  • 10 pull-ups OYO

  • 5 knee ups OYO

Mosey to garden

  • Decline mercans – 10 I/C

  • Dips – 10 I/C

Mosey to side lot

  • Incline partner sit-ups with shadow boxing – 10

  • 3-2-1 mercans – 10

2nd lap

Mosey to back

  • Squat burpees (squrpees)

Mosey to curb

  • Mike Tyson – 10 I/C

Mosey to garden

  • Incline mercans – 10 I/C

  • Squats with bottoms grazing on bench – 20

Mosey to side lot

  • Calf raises – 50

  • Partner ankle throwdowns – 10

3rd lap

Mosey to back

  • 10 pull-ups OYO

  • 5 knee ups OYO

Mosey to garden

  • Alternating mercans – 10

  • Peoples Republic of Air Chair – 1 min

Mosey to Mary area

  • No hand mercans – 10

Mary

  • Leg raises, alternating leg lifts – 20

  • Reverse crunches – 20

  • Low dolly – 15 I/C

  • Freddie Mercury – 20 I/C

Moleskine

  • Merkins were originally worn by prostitutes after shaving (down there), and are now used as decorative items, erotic devices, or in films, by both men and women. The female version is usually made of fur, beaver pelts, linen or some soft version of cloth, while the male version is usually made of loops, chains, or metal, and is much more closely related to the codpiece

  • The origin of the pubic wig goes back to the 1450s. Legend has it that women would shave their pubic hair for personal hygiene and to combat pubic lice. They would then don a merkin. Also, prostitutes would wear a merkin to cover up signs of disease, such as syphilis.

  • It has also been suggested that when male actors played female parts onstage, they would cover their genitals with a merkin so they could pose as women in nude scenes.

  • Although that may have been difficult to read, it was also extremely difficult to copy and paste

  • With Father’s Day coming up, just remember that as much as you support your kids, they will inevitably leave you in the dust

  • El Tigre plans to bring Q back a guitar pick from The Edge at the U2 concert in Tampa

  • They may be Burpee Ball league forming. Need to speak to my Anger Management consultant to if my consistent progress in therapy sessions will finally allow me to participate

  • Careful with the sit up jabs to the left hand, its the valuable one

  • Perhaps it was the humidity, or perhaps the awesome workout, but it sure was scchhweaty out there

  • To be clear, I write these pre-blast and back-blast missives from a combination of passion, sickness and a fairly unique brand of humor. However, I do not want others to feel that these type of expansive commentaries are expected, and therefore would prevent others from taking part; nothing could be further from the truth. My therapist says that using the written form and not physical form aggression is a much more positive form of expression.

  • Great work gents!