Aww Man, Tires Are Such A Drag!


When The Count reached out to me in early January about making some changes to the Cauldron workout, he implied that he would also like me to pick up an open Q slot at the end of month. At the time, I had not been to a workout in a couple of weeks (well before Christmas), and had not been planning anything in the immediate future. But I didn’t know how to decline so I took the 26th. The Count likely gets most of the credit for getting me to finally forego the comfort of the fart sack and start posting again. I just knew I would be in trouble if my first post in 2018 was also my own Q. But dang, it was so cold in early January! I waited for temps to get back into the 20s before venturing out which means I had 4 posts prior to Qing today. From Kotter to Q in 2 weeks — not bad for a fat, old man.

It was just below the freezing mark when I left the house as 0442 for an 0445 rucking standard. It still amazes me that I don’t often post at Cauldron despite it being right across the street (literally) from my front door. I didn’t want to disappoint Titan, who has recently become interested in carrying heavy objects all around town. We were joined by 9-Lives (meow), The Count, LittleFinger and Sweet C. (Was there anyone else?) Apparently Sweet C was even guilted into bringing a backpack with some weight tossed in. It looks like he’ll be replacing (or adding) a quarter ruck to the BRR in 2018. Amen and The Force decided 0445 was too early and opted for an 0500 run standard instead.

Amen and The Force must also have decided a 0530 start was too early as well since they rolled into the AO while we were wrapping up SSH. With the gang all here, we added some rice pullers (hey, everyone has a different name for these thing, right?), girl fights and slow deep squats to the warm up. Was there more? Who knows, I was thinking forward to the main event.

Earlier in the week I was looking for ideas. Now normally I check old back blasts, but the Cauldron only has a few entries dating back to 2015. I guess kettle bell workouts are so boring that very few Qs want to relive them. But that’s none of my business (or is it?). Instead, I was forced to go out on the wide web and see what people who pay money to get in shape do. There I found the idea of the tire drag. With a $25 trip to Lowe’s and some straps I had sitting idle from past ruck events, I was able to craft two harnesses. I attached a couple of eye hooks to the airplane tires Turnpike was gracious enough to provide a few weeks back and we had the ingredients for a good leg burner.

Off we went to the bus lot where we gathered at the side entrance to the school. While two men at a time took a tire for a mosey around the track, the rest of us stayed back to do various exercises AMRAP style, many with kettle bell. The general consensus from the guys who had not had a turn on the tire yet was that it looked easy. The feedback from the guys who had completed it was — well, I never heard anything but heavy breathing. I assume that means they loved it.

With twelve drag queens, we had six sets completed once everyone had had a turn. Kozar was getting ready for a 2nd lap when I informed the pax we would be changing things up. This time we would send one man across the lot and back with both tires in tow. Between already having run a lap with one, combined with double the weight and double the friction from tire drag, this effort was a little slower despite going only a third of the distance. Sideline viewers continued to do AMRAP exercises while watching; we incorporated a few wall sits with bell activities as well as some non-bell routines. I was last to take the dogs for a drag (I think that’s a punch line to a bad joke) after which we gathered our toys to head back to the start.

What do you do with a dog with no legs? Take him for a drag.
Where do you find a dog with no legs? Same place you left him.
What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn’t matter, he isn’t coming.

Once back at the original lot, we went with the standard method of MARY-Go-Round. I led with the basic LBC. 9-Lives opted for pretzel crunches. There were some heel touches while I laid on my stomach to stretch out the cramping abs. We also did some Dot the I’s, some Merkins and some J-Lo’s because Amen has a vivid imagination. Hips don’t lie. And apparently they don’t need to move much either when you’re daydreaming about Ms. Lopez.

At 0615 we called a halt. We mentioned Earl Gray’s shop closing on Saturday. We noted that Cornwallis would be leaving for IN next week. I encouraged guys to support SwingState’s Access 2 Success by getting tickets for the Davidson basketball game this Wednesday night. The Polar Bear was discussed (getting wet is optional as is Primal afterwards). And Sweet C told everyone to mark this year’s Dad’s Camp on their calendars. We also spoke of a #2ndF lunch at Jason’s later today. 

I thanks The Count for asking me to Q. As mentioned above, it also served to get me active again. This is what F3 is all about (I think). It’s about encouraging each of us to improve, both physically and emotionally. To care about others and do things (like lead workouts, write back blasts and reach out to kotters) that benefit the other guy even if we see no benefit for ourself. I’m a better man because of what F3 has done for me. I hope that each of us continues to make other men better by doing the things we don’t necessarily care for because we realize it’s not about self, but living third. Aye!