My preblast didn't post until very late, so I wasn't surprised to be all alone at 6:59 a.m. I wasn't going to allow myself to miss out on the first or second F, so I unshoveled the flag and got in the car for the drive of shame to join Mighty Jungle.
But soft! What light through yonder parking lot breaks? It was either someone in a Tron costume or the most visible safety vest ever devised. The hearty souls of the Standard (Mojito, Metallica, Soprano) had come to save the workout! The game was afoot! Metallica headed out to put some more mileage on his odomoter (decreasing his trade-in value with every step), and then there were three.
We headed out for our pre-warmup warmup run when a straggler brought up the six. It was Primo, whose Uber ride must have shown up late. And then there were four.
Since their running game was obviously solid, we focused on cardio-intensive exercise and some serious muscle-building nonsense. They were up for the challenge, albeit with some grumblechatter thrown in from time to time. That only encourages me.
Metallica rejoined us for some pseudo-Marys at the end, but those in attendance for the full hour dropped two pants sizes, went down to single-digit body fat, and doubled their bench press.
Warm-a-Thang-a-Rama
- Mosey around the field
- 50 Goose-Steps
- 50 Girl Fights
- 30 Pirate Ships
- 20 Bobby Hurleys OYO
- 40 Metronomes
- 40 Crab Toe Touches
- 15 Inchworms
- Mosey to rock pile
- 20 Big Girl Merkins (elbows tight to side)
- 5-Minutes Arm-a-geddon (10 Full Curls/10 Shoulder Presses/10 Skull Crushers). Repeato walking all the way around the big field. Total 150-200 reps. Ugh!
- 30 Golfzillas (Rock swings).
- 40 Bent Over Rows
- 20 Rock Transplants
- 20 Partner Leg Throwdowns
- 20 Partner Rock Swaps
- 30 Bear Squats (on all fours with shins staying parallel to ground, rocking back toward heels and up again)
- 30 Little Baby Flutter Chest Presses
- 60-Seconds Table Plank (crab position but with body horizontal)
- 40 Folding Tables (Triceps Dips from Table-Plank position)
- 20 Partner Leg Throwdowns OYO
- 20 Lower Back Raises with Rock
- 30 Wall Climbers
- Wall Plank
- 10 Worst Merkins Ever
- 15 Parallel Bar Chest Dips
- Side Wall Plank
- 30 Prisoner Squats
- 30-Seconds Upside-Down Plank
- 30 Superman Pulses
- 30 Oblique V-Ups
- 30 Bear Squats
- 30 Wide-Leg Sit-Ups
- 10 Karate Kids (one legged squats) with kick at the end. Miagi say: “Win, lose. No matter. You make good fight. Earn Respect.”
Recover Recover
Moleskine
So I pointed out that Soprano nailed every challenge I threw at him but seemed to struggle a bit more with the Table Planks and Folding Table. Of course, I got called out by Primo and Metallica for calling out Soprano, so suddenly I'm the Q who judges form and performance. That's how rumors get started, people.
I get loopy when I work out, so of course I forgot the count and name-o-rama, but we squeezed them in right before the COT. We relinqueshed the fields to the soccer parents, but not before leaving some of our hard-earned sweat out there. No coffee today because apparently Madalyns was the only coffee place in town (or we just didn't get the memo about a change of venue).
Thank you gents for showing up to save me from a forced convergence with the Jungle. It's always an honor.