Pre-Annual-Dolphins-NFLDraft-Screwup Beatdown at Fission


13 pax gathered at 131 Main for a #Fission beatdown on Thursday morning.  With the NFL Draft (where YHC's Dolphins are sure to screw something up, per usual) beginning that evening, YHC tried to deliver something NFL-themed.  Here's what happened:

0500: Beetlejuice, Lawn Dart, Perrier, Titan, and YHC took off for a 2.7ish mile Standard past some of the locations that YHC had planned to hit during the beatdown.  Snoopy also ran a solo Standard into the AO.  Nice work gents.

0530: Mosey around AO with a little carioca, circle up near far end of parking lot.  Disclaimer.

WARM-O-RAMA:

  • SSH x 49(ers) IC
  • (Windy City) Windmills x 15 IC
  • Artificial Turf Pullers x 15 IC
  • Mericans x 10 IC

THANG:

Stay in warmup area and count off into three groups.  Gather groups in three designated locations, approx 30 yards apart, forming a triangle.

  • (Chicago) Bearmuda Triangle – bear crawl clockwise to next point of triangle, complete 2 burpees.  Bear crawl to next point of triangle, complete 4 burpees.  Bear crawl to next (original) point of triangle, complete 6 burpees.
  • Repeato (Chicago) Bearmuda Triangle.

Mosey out of AO, to fountain near Delmas Dr.  Partner up.

  • Hail Mary Dips x 15 IC – Partner 1 in plank position while Partner 2 elevates legs on Partner 1's back for elevated dips.  Flip-flop.
  • Carolina (Panther) Dry Docks x 15 IC
  • Repeato Hail Mary Dips
  • Repeato Carolina (Panther) Dry Docks

Mosey to "old" rock pile on Ruffner Dr.  Grab non-traveler and circle up in grass near rock pile.

  • Full Curl x 10 IC
  • Overhead Press x 10 IC
  • Skullcrusher x 10 IC

Drop rocks.  (In honor of Raiders) Prison Squat x 10 IC.

Rotate 4 rocks to left.

  • Full Curl x 10 IC
  • Overhead Press x 10 IC
  • Chest Press (on back, in wet grass) x 10 IC
  • Skullcrusher x 10 IC

Drop rocks.  Prison Squat x 10 IC.  Replace rocks.

Mosey back in direction of AO.  Stop in grass field between Oakhurst Blvd and Peachmont Dr.

  • Captain Thors – one WWII situp followed by one 4-count Mason Twist (i.e. American Hammer), two WWII situps followed by two 4-count Mason Twists, and so on…..up to ten WWII situps followed by ten 4-count Mason Twists.

Mosey back to AO.  Circle up for Mary:

  • (San Fran) Bay City Scissors x 10 IC – eight count scissors with first four being vertical scissors and second four being lateral scissors
  • (Cam Newton) Superman Banana – 4x 10-15 second holds in each position
  • Elbow Plank 1 minute

Recover, recover.

MOLESKIN:

  • Professor brought the early mumblechatter, goading the Q with faux complaints about YHC's "hard" workout after the first Bearmuda Triangle.  YHC had originally planned to call Bearmuda Triangle with burpees increasing by 1 at each point of triangle, up to 10, but decided last minute to dial that back.  Maybe YHC should not have been so merciful.
  • We had odd numbers at the fountain, so YHC was without a partner for Hail Mary dips.  YHC did ordinary dips, and when the pax flip-flopped, YHC immediately did a second set.  Not a great idea, because YHC's triceps were gassed by the end, but then again, YHC heard the groans of pax performing the single set of Hail Mary dips.  Were they that bad?  Sound off in the comments….
  • Beetlejuice completed a full set of Mericans while he was planking for the Hail Mary dips with his partner's legs on his back.  YHC figured he was just delivering himself some extra pain, and didn't try to stop him, but apparently it was because YHC's instructions were unclear.  Cobains, but he completed them nonetheless – nice work brother!  Maybe I'll incorporate that next time.
  • The "old" rock pile is pretty depleted.  Not a lot of rocks to choose from.  YHC was a little embarrassed by his puny rock, and jealous of some of the other pax's more manly rocks, so YHC decided to call for the rock shift.  However, just before the shift, YHC noticed that Snoopy was struggling with his rock on the last few skullcrushers.  Knowing what a beast Snoopy is, and having never seen him struggle with any rock, YHC figured it would be only fair to the pax for YHC to take Snoopy's rock himself, and so YHC deliberately shifted 4 rocks to left.  Big mistake.  Snoopy's rock was massive, and instead of stroking YHC's ego with a manlier rock, YHC had to put the Snoopy rock down and choose another puny rock from the pile, in front of all of the pax, while Omega temporarily took over counting.
  • The pax complained about being in the wet grass, first at the rock pile, and then again during the Captain Thors, but I think by end of the Captain Thors, they were glad they weren't doing those on hard ground.  Amirite?
  • Soprano is a stud, and basically crushes just about everything you throw at him.  Doesn't even seem like he's breathing hard.
  • I forgot one of the exercises I'd planned to do after the Captain Thors.  I knew there was one more in my plan, but couldn't recall what it was.  Finally remembered once I was driving home: Tom Brady sack get-ups x 10 OYO each arm.  As a Dolphins fan, I hate that I forgot to get those in….
  • On a more personal note – during COT, I often defer to someone else to take the pax out.  I regret it, but the words just don't seem to come to me, and others always seem to have impactful words.  I've been some form of agnostic for a long time now, but I do pray at times, and when I do, I promise that it is in earnest.  No one offered to take us out today, and so Soprano gave me a reassuring pat and an "it's you."  Thanks, brother.  I don't know that I had the words again today, but I'll endeavor to take us out more often in the future, and promise that whatever comes out, it'll be coming from the right place.
  • Thank you sincerely to everyone for joining me this morning, including fellow Goatbusters Perrier, Professor, and Snoopy, and my MBM training buds Beetlejuice and Garcia (who joined us for Mary).  It was great seeing every one of you, and being able to lead you today.
  • Thanks to BRR brother Titan for reaching out and asking for a Q.  Nice work managing this AO, bud.  And thanks as always to Auto and Eeyore for the EH in June 2016, for which I'm forever grateful.

Aye,

TC