No Tires Were Harmed (or Used)


14 men climbed out of the fartsack this morning including an FNG — Josh — and were welcomed by a crisp morning temperature with low humidity; perfect for a free workout open to all men held rain or shine, lead by peers in a rotating fashion and ending in a circle of trust. YHC couldn’t sleep (as is often the case prior to Qing a bunch of men more fit than myself) so I opted to show up early and run the course of my planned beatdown as a unplanned, solo standard. But as is often the case, plans change.

THE THANG

We started off with a disclaimer for our FNG. YHC botched that one good which led to Bagboy questioning when the “do burpees if you don’t like what the Q calls” was added. What can I say? I keep waiting for someone to take me up on the offer, but no one ever does. And there were plenty of times today I would have expected them too. I even thought about it myself once or twice.

Lunge Walk to the far end of the parking lot and then circle up for warm ups.

  • SSH x20 IC
  • Sumo Squats x15 IC
  • Merkins x15 IC
  • Cotton Picker x12 IC

Next we moseyed to the covered area at the entrance to the lot. I claimed it was in case of a rain shower, but the pax knew better. There we added a few exercises.

  • Praying Mantis x15 IC
  • People’s Chair w/ Wonderbra x15 IC

Next, we moseyed down to the handrails for a few more exercises.

  • MId-shelf Incline Merkin x10 IC
  • Top-shelf Decline Merkin x10 IC (horrible, can’t believe no one did burpees)
  • One-legged Squat x10 IC each leg

Continue mosey to bottom of hill at intersection.

  • Muhammad Ali x30 IC
  • Burpees x5 OYO

I may have asked for a 10-count next. I don’t recall, but I do recall needing one. We crossed the intersection headed back towards the parking lot and then bear-crawled about 20 yards before stopping for more stupid ideas. YHC called for WWII Situps, x15 OYO in wet grass on hill with feet facing top of hill. This was basically impossible. YHC took a lot of flak (including from self) before audibling to move back to street and do them there (feet still uphill albeit not as steep). Then we moseyed to corner at top of hill.

  • 10 Jump Squats OYO, then run to next corner and plank for six.
  • 10 Groiners OYO, then run to bottom of hill and plank for six.
  • 10 Merkins OYO, then run short distance to next corner.
  • 10 Burpees OYO, then run up hill to corner and plank for six.

Whew. If I had eaten anything prior to the workout, I would have #merloted for sure. As it was, I asked for a 10-count before moseying back to parking lot. where we proceed to load the ark with exercises in between.

  • Crab Walk 15 yards, then CDD x10 IC
  • Frog Jump 15 yards, then Low Flutter x25 IC
  • Gorilla Swing 15 yards, then ??? x10 IC
  • Gorilla Swing (lead with opposite leg), then LBC x20 IC
  • Duck Walk 15 yards, then ??? x10 IC
  • Broad Jump 15 yards

That left about 3 minutes which was just enough time to tone those thighs.

  • Jane Fonda x25 IC each leg (always a crowd pleaser)

And thus 45 minutes of good livin’ was had by all.

NAKED MOLESKIN

  • Spreader brought out Josh for his first post. We inquired after if Josh would receive an equally despicable nickname at his next post
  • Thanks to Sweet Caroline for using Google Maps to leave the confines of Wynfield Forest on a Thursday to journey all the way to Cornelius for a workout
  • Always appreciate a visit from Bagboy who will surely bring a mode of seriousness to the nantan position when he assumes the role in July (don’t call me Shirley)
  • Cobains to Jukebox for recording his name as Juice Box. Luckily I have friends in F3 to correct my bad hearing (although Juice Box isn’t such a bad name)
  • Don’t forget that FNG/Kotter Week begins next Monday (June 11-16). Take a look on the website for all the friends you haven’t seen in gloom lately and reach out to them this weekend
  • Mark your calendars now for Week of the Pirate on August 13-18. YHC will be Qing 7 days in a row. Attend any 5 events to earn a custom Velcro patch. Left overs will be sold for $5 (at cost) and proceeds will go to Operation Sweet Tooth
  • Many options for a workout tomorrow including Sharknado at Lake Forest to continue the celebration of Burner finally turning 40. If you miss the weather phenomena tomorrow, I hear there’s a good chance of a second touch down in Murrells Inlet next week