Did you ever hear the advice that when hosting a dinner party, especially if there will be guests you don’t know well, you should stick to a tried and true menu? It’s usually not a good idea to try something new which could hurt your reputation. Well, I ignored that logic upon my return to Viking for the first time in several months. Following the stolen weinke from Berean yesterday, I decided this would be a smorgasbord of activities rarely (if ever) attempted in LKN. What’s the worst that could happen?
HOIST THE SAILS
At 0530 we moseyed over to the parking lot by the playground. As luck would have it, we had a bat flying over our heads which impressed the pax who thought I had staged it as I called the first exercise:
- BAT WINGS: series of forward arm circles, backward arm circles, seal claps and overhead claps, all while keeping the hands higher than the shoulders.
- HILLBILLIES: similar to the Imperial Storm Trooper (IST), but performed to the outside of the body with elbow and knee on same side coming together.
Amidst grumbling that the warm up was minimal — not to mention did not include a single SSH — we moseyed on to the tennis court parking lot. Once there, we did a few more warm-up exercises:
- DRY DOCK CRABS: start in CDD position; on “1”, move right foot under body to left hand while simultaneously moving right hand over body to where right foot was resulting in a crab position. On “2”, return to original CDD position. On “3” and “4”, repeato with the other appendages.
- DANIEL-SON: begin in the crane pose made famous by Ralph Macchio in the original Karate Kid. In cadence, kick leg up and land on opposite leg, then repeat. Keep hands in air and don’t forget to breathe.
- IMPERIAL SQUAT WALKERS: same as the more traditional IST, but with a squat between each knee-to-elbow rep.
Next up was a mosey over to the basketball courts. I told the pax that since I only get to this AO once every 12 months or so, it was important that I use as much of the park as possible.
- BOBBY HURLEYS: squat with a hand slap on ground followed by a jump as if to shoot a basketball. We did them along the 3-point arc, working our way around the arcs of 3 adjacent courts.
- FOREST TO SEA: line up on baseline of court. Bear crawl to mid-court, then crab walk to opposite base line. Repeato.
Despite the smooth surface of the courts, I had the pax mosey over to the path around the soccer fields for the next exercise.
- BATAAN DEATH MARCH: an Indian run where the last man stops to do burpees before sprinting to the front of the line. The original version called for 5 burpees, but I modified to 3 for sake of time (and because I don’t like burpees).
Next up was to find a dry spot in the grass on the soccer field. When we didn’t find any, we were forced to use a wet spot instead. The binus was that it had been freshly mosed as well. Kind of like making sugar cookies in the sand but with green jimmies instead.
- MERKIN ROLL: in plank position. When Q calls “down”, do a merkin but roll left on the ground before coming back up. On next “down” do the same but roll right.
- BRIDGE OF HATE: the explanation given was that this was the opposite of the Tunnel of Love. Have men lie on their backs, shoulder to shoulder. Then the man on the end is passed down the line while lying face up. We got Jethro halfway down the line before dropping him. No one was willing to try again so we did TUNNEL OF LOVE instead.
WIth about 15 minutes left to go, I ordered the pax back to the tennis court lot for some MARY.
- CAPTAIN THOR: like a Jack Webb only with WWII situps and American Hammers performed to a 1:4 ratio. I would call “up” for the situp followed by a set of Hammers in cadence. Repeato with 2 situps and 2 hammers (IC). We went to 7:28.
- GORILLA HUMPERS: same thing as a monkey humper but with feet windmill width apart.
From there is was a jailbreak to the starting point where we had just enough time for a final new(ish) exercise.
- BAY CITY SCISSORS: an 8-count Mary exercise. Begin on back with feet raised to 45 degrees. On “1”, left leg up and right leg down. On “2”, both legs back to center. On “3” and “4” do the same with opposite legs. On “5” cross right leg over left, then return to center on “6”. For “7” and “8” do the same with the opposite leg crossing over the top.
Recover, recover.
X MARKS THE SPOT
- In true pirate fashion, there was almost a mutiny when I didn’t lead off with SSH. Several pax felt I might benefit from a trip to Q School at Cauldron on August 24th.
- Twister came from the Mtn Island Lake area. Per the website, he parked by the playground. Fortunately he found the rest of us in the church parking lot, but not after getting caught up in the #standard with the MQ. The good news is, we are updating the site soon with the correct address.
- Titan showed up “fashionably” late and missed the first 4 exercises. He would later leave to use the little pirate room following some MARY work as well. I suppose I might give him a patch at the end of the week for completing 4.5 workouts with me.
- Speaking of Titan, he was as irritating as ever, not that I would expected otherwise. What I was not expecting was for Holiday to be a close second on the #grumblechatter. I thought I had suitably shut him up during the THORs, but when I mentioned it, he began anew. Very impressive effort!
- The pax were convinced they were only getting half a workout today since the Q was forced to provide a demonstration for virtually every exercise. They may be correct as we didn’t have enough time to do the ABSOLUTIONS and MONKEY CRUNCHES that I had included on my #weinke
- The BAT WINGS and DRY DOCK CRABS didn’t seem to be a hit. The BRIDGE OF HATE was a downright bomb. Although no one cared for rolling in the wet grass, I think the MERKIN ROLLS may show up again one day, and I’d wager that the CAPTAIN THORS and BAY CITY SCISSORS will prove popular in LKN.
- Grantan and Ultraman were patched at the end of today’s workout. Operation Sweet Tooth thanks you for your donations.
- Prayers for Kingfish and Boar Hog who are both dealing with the recent passing of their respective mothers. Prayers for Holiday’s family as he FIL is suffering with cancer. But praise for Canuck following what appears to have been a successful stint surgery.
- Upcoming events:
- Q School @ Cauldron on August 24
- Dad’s Camp on August 25-26
- Basin River Run on November 2 (sign ups open)
- Christmas Party on December 1 (limited to 60 couples)