The More it Sucks, The More They Come*


*TWSS

I learned at Fission a couple weeks ago that if you infer a workout will suck in the preblast, a larger number of pax will show up. I assume they think you’re fibbing and want to post to see if the Q can back up his claims. To prove my point, I preblasted today’s Hollywood workout where I clearly stated a suckfest to include such things as running, burpees, Turkish get-ups and SSH. And still the pax flowed in eager to see if I would indeed give them that which they dislike most. I even had guys who were at the SSH-palooza from Fission back for more suckage.

HERE IS THEIR STORY

At 0530, with 16 men and a canine in tow, we made our way across the creek where we circled up for the initial pain. 

  • SSH x50 IC
  • Windmill x12 IC
  • Hillbillies x10 IC
  • Cotton Pickers x10 IC
  • Sumo Squats x10 IC

Next, we moseyed over to the brick wall in front of Newell and split into two groups. Each group planked along it’s own section of wall and did Incline Merkins (AMRAP) while each guy Raccoon Walked atop the wall to end of pax line.

Next we moseyed around the U-shaped road to the 2 o’clock position. The pax were given instructions to do Burpees x10 at this location, then run along the road to the 10 o’clock position where they were to do Turkish Get-Ups x10 and run back to the start point. Do 5 sets of those and then plank it out back by the brick wall until the six (aka YHC) finished.

While I was finishing, our #grantan look the lead for the early finishers by doing some American Hammers (aka Mason Twist). If other exercises were done, I am not aware of them. When I finally showed up, I took the opportunity for a Gnarly Goat-approved Mobility Minute® by leading the pax in some stretching to include Downward Dog, Pigeon and Upward Dog. Then we moseyed back to the theater.

Back on our home turf, we found some space along the wall for People’s Chair. While seated, we did Wonderbra (push out and up) x12 IC followed immediately by Heel Touch x12 IC. With quads smoked, we switched to the yet-to-be-named plank at wall with hands moving up on to wall and back into plank. We did 10 total, switching direction after 5 so that each hand had a chance to lead. We wrapped up wall work with Praying Mantis x10 IC (with the new instruction to set feet about half your height from the wall).

With a few minutes remaining, we circled up in lot beside theater for Jane Fondas x25 IC on each leg, and then wrapped up the morning with LBC x25 IC. 0615 had arroven and we were “forced” to recover. #whew

AND NOW, THE REST OF THE STORY

  • Mr Holland announced a standard yesterday but was left to run alone. While the Q did not want to run, a better leader sould have #ETS and supported his brother. #cobains
  • Hat Trick is not the only guy to still be telling fish stories about the 1000 SSH workout. He claims he could not workout again for 4 days, but surely a few SSH wouldn’t cause that much pain, right?!
  • Tagless was looking for confirmation that there would be no burpees. Like any good politician, YHC diverted the conversation to something else without shoing my hand for the suck soon to ensue.
  • Was it Pine Tar that showed up with a Wahoos shirt? He claimed it was for the VT guys (who are still humiliated from their loss to ODU) but as a State alum I was triggered knowing we play them this weekend. Losing to them would be a lot like losing to ODU, #amiright
  • At one point while running between burpees and get-ups, I tried to pass Omega, but Bailey played perfect sidekick and blocked my effort. #mansbestfriend
  • Congrats to Stapler‘s son, Commando who swore his oath earlier this week to enlist with the Army. Just remember that when we pray at the end of every workout for those who protect us, you are one of the guys we are thanking for your service!
  • I always thought the talk of the bromance between Bagboy and Special Sauce was unwarranted. But they really are chummy at a workout. That doesn’t mean I’m jealous.
  • Thanks to Deep Dish for picking up my tab at Starbucks afterwards, even after I trashed his AO with that suck fest of a workout.
  • See y’all again on Saturday morning at St Mark. Feel free to come at 0700 for a Titan workout, but plan to stay for some mulch relocation from 8-12 (or any portion).