It's unclear how many in attendance knew this was a Jersey Boy workout and attended anyway, and how many didn't get the memo and walked into an ambush. Let's just say that there were certain conscientious objectors and that Outlaw was their César Chávez, championing the rights of the oppressed pax forced to endure the indignities of a swiper card-table plank or a little baby flutter crunch press.
Yes, some of the exercises were ill-advised, and grumblechatter was everpresent, but bodies were hardened and honed–and that's what we all came for.
I think Omega EH'd Dave (Talmut?) as an FNG-1. Hope to see you again, Dave! (Not all workouts are this weird!)
Then we did these things. . .
- Boogie (more than a mosey, less than a run)
- Goose-Steps
- Girl Fights
- Bear Squats
- Crucifix Plank
- Pirate Ship Ride
- Boogie to the Wall
- High Wall Climbers
- Side Wall Planks
- Sheryl Sandberg (Lean-Ins)
- Slerkin (Slow Merkins with Hover)
- Armageddon (roughly 80 reps each of curls, presses, crushers)
- Bent-Over Rows
- Front shoulder raise
- Karate Kids (one-legged squats)
- Card Table
- Swiper-Card Table Plank
- Wrist Curls
- Little Baby Flutter Crunch Press
- Partner Bell Transfer
- Oblique V-Up
- Upward Dog
- Superman Pulse
- Halo (2-leg circle)
- Metronome
- Upside down plank
Outlaw called me out on my hover during the slerkin, claiming that I was "laying down" on the job, but that was fake news.
Thanks for showing up, gents!