YHC (“your humble correspondent” for the F3 syntax-challenged) showed up a little early on this chilly morning to see this infamous tire and decide how I might incoporate it into my pre-planned workout. As I was enjoying the heated seats, HotWax appeared in the headlights prompting me to leave the cozy confines of my car. We discussed temperature cutoffs for layering (I personally go with 45° for long sleeves and 35° for long pants) since he was only in shorts and a tee. As we were chatting, Etch showed up with 23-ish layers. #MiamiThings
I had to give an early #cobains (F3 for “apologies”) for not starting until 0511. I was expecting Sweet Caroline to attend since he had clearly stated at MightyOak that he would be there. I was also waiting for The Force — he was the one who brought up the tire. Seems the guy who likes other men to handle his thick, black … rope also now wants them to fondle his ginormous rubber. ¯_(?)_/¯
THE THANG (what we did for the crux [most important aspect] of the workout)
We moseyed around the corner of the lot where I had 10 men line up along the curb. Lines are tough for guys half asleep and used to gathering in a circle. When I asked every other man to take a step forward to allow room for SSH, most were able to make sense of my instructions, but the #clydesdales were obviously confused. I tried to speak Frontier’s language by using 1s and 0s but he claimed he only compiled to binary. Oh well, guess you’re bound to get a few bad apples when you cast out your .NET (#SWIDT #nerds)
The warm-up consisted of an exercise followed by movement from one side of lot to the other. Rinse and repeat. Most of the warm up exercises were stretchy with animal walks in between. Following some pigeon coos, we lined up Native American style and ran to the rock pile.
The ‘hood was nice enough to be running the sprinklers in order to clean the rocks for us. They also spritzed our legs so that we could more fully enjoy the 40 degree temp. With rocks in hand, I had the pax guess which number I was thinking of between 1-5. The |difference| (bars indicate “absolute” because #math) between numbers was the number of sets we would do, most to a count of 10 IC.
We moved between the rock pile and Queen’s Corner after each round of sets. Rock work and ab work respectively at each end based on number incorrectly guessed. The one time that the pax guessed the number right, we did burpees as a reward. When Toxic commented on my impressive rock (blush), I had the pax move 3 to the right so that he could get a little closer. But when he whined, we put the rocks back.
For the return to the parking lot, we went with an “Indian lunge” while the back squaw quadrophelia’d to the front. That got us back to the arbor with only a few chance encounters with oncoming traffic (did I give a disclaimer?). We headed for the corner and grabbed the tire. No, not the one from the wagon as in the #f3counts tweet, but the massive one below it. Now I think a crossfitter could have flipped this thing single-handedly but YHC opted for a 2-man tire shove instead: two men stand opposite each other with tire upright, and shove the top of tire towards the other. He has to “catch” the tire and shove it back, medicine ball style.
After everyone had a chance, we went around a 2nd time with each man doing 3 WWII situps while sitting in the tire which allowed the opportunity to hyper-extend the back (#disclaimer). Following that stupid idea, we returned the tire and recovered.
MOLESKIN (observations not directly related to your fitness)
- Here are some alternative ideas for tire workouts — the girl claims the tire in video is 200+ pounds and she’s flipping and *carrying* it herself #justsaying
- I’ve said it before, but someone needs to introduce Frontier to Java. He’s wasting his speed on bootcamps
- Titan talks a lot, but he is merely training material for when Etch attends your workout
- Ultraman’s headlamp is brighter than a car’s lights. Hard to tell which is behind you
- I gave Toxic his Dot-The-I’s and Amen his J-Lo’s but did either thank me? #yourewelcome
- Anyone else notice how the #respects put in the most work with the least chatter? Not sure I’m going to be able to do that next year. (#mumblechatter FTW!)
- Mighty Jungle upcoming events
- Nov 2nd: regular bootcamp — NOT an F3 Dad’s workout as originally planned
- Dec 7th: homecoming — 4 special Qs and a celebration of Jungle alumni
- Dec 21st: Mona’s cookies — Christmas calories following bootcamp burn