Soprano, Moses, and Hall Monitor relented to a little peer pressure (tags and texts) to show up to BRP this morning, and lucky we were that they did because the Master Q and most of the regulars were AWOL. (Cobra Kai arrived late and opted out of hunting us down in the jungles of the BRP disc-golf course, so we met up with him on the soccer pitch at 8:00.)
BRISK GOLF™ is Disc Golf with a twist! After everyone tees off, it's go-time! First one in the goal wins the hole. But you have to do your exercise set (e.g. 10 merkins, 5 burpees, 15 squats, etc.) before each throw after the tee. We track only first and last place finishes, keeping a net count. If you never place first or last, your score is 0. If you placed first on 5 holes but came in last on 2, your score is 3. Winner chooses the exercise for the next hole. It's fast, it's fun, and it's (apparently) dangerous and bad for your hearing (read on).
BRISK GOLF™ is the perfect combination of game and boot camp—it's brutal but you don't realize it's brutal because you're having so much fun. At least I WAS having fun until Hall Monitor tried to kill me. That's when things got dark.
For the uninitiated, disc-golf discs are way denser and have sharper edges than Frisbees. So when THE Hall Monitor launched his disc at my left ear (at full speed from a few feet away), the effect was palpable and instantaneous. You could literally hear the pain emanating from my body—in the form of an unusually long string of F-bombs for all to enjoy (never let it be said that I don't give a F*@&). While it turned out that I was not actually dying, my brain was convinced otherwise for a solid minute there. I was fully expecting to feel my ear dangling off my skull, but instead there were a few drops of blood and a slightly malfunctioning hearing aid. No surgery required.
For the record, The Hall Monitor is NOT a professional disc-golf player and, I'm pretty sure, has nothing against me personally except for the fact that I regularly give him a hard time for handing off the BRP Master Q to me years ago and then never showing up again. Seriously, BRISK GOLF™ is a risky game for real men (and, apparently, men who scream like middle-school girls), so I don't want anyone to be mad at Hall Monitor for trying to kill me—just like I won't be mad at you because you're right now thinking that my getting clonked in the ear by a Frisbee is more humorous than it is tragic. I get it. As Elton and Bernie say: "It's a little bit funny…"
Despite some bad luck early on (allowing me to barely win the first four holes), Moses rallied to take the big W, while YHC was second, THE Hall Monitor third, and Soprano. . .next. We found Cobra Kai upon our return and Moses took us out with some powerful sentiments. Coffee was at Summit in Davidson so we could support our local vendors at the famer's market. The square-donut line was 20 deep, so I opted for veggies instead (I live on the edge…)
Thanks to the regulars and the irregulars for showing up and for leaving it all on the field of play today. You are great adversaries indeed, gentlemen, and it's my pleasure to engage in the Sport of Kings with you on this glorious day of battle. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be busy for the next 7 hours trying hard not to lay on the left side of my head, where my ear is still in danger of falling off at any moment. Sleep well, Hall Monitor!
Bruce Hurley
F3 Jersey Boy