Beach Bod GUARANTEE at Cauldron


YHC’s original EH mentor would honor me with a co-Q this fine Friday before our nation’s birthday and what YHC believes is the most common American vacation week of the Summer.  Knowing that (or assuming it…), YHC and BEP wanted to offer our semi-professional expertise in getting all pax who worked hard enough into their beach bods before the holiday week.  It worked! (It’s not a lie if you believe it, pax)

The Qs would split the warm-o-rama then YHC would take the weight room for 20 mins and hand it over to BEP for the final ABSolutely ridiculous final 20 mins.

When YHC planned the weight room portion, the usual confusion and anxiety would set in when trying to determine the appropriate # of pax per bench station, the # of bells needed and how the rotation of exercises and pax would work best.  YHC has determined this is nearly has doable as it would be to get the Earth to spin in the opposite direction…  But that won’t stop us from hittin’ them pecs, boys!!!

So YHC came up with the plan, wrote it out on paper, made 4 copies and was ready.  Woke up in a panic that the calculations were incorrect, checked the math, then determined we would be good to go.  Given the numbers at Cauldron in recent months and years, YHC came up with a plan for if the count was between 16 and 20 or over 20.  Well at 0530 the count was 12! Quick thinking YHC knew we’d be ok with 3 bench stations instead of 4.  Then YHC saw Snake Eyes getting out of his car.  Then Amen driving up.  Panic!

As the Qs conducted the warm-o-rama, YHC attempted to count the pax – this is nearly impossible with the co-Q counting cadence to my immediate right…  But YHC determined we had 15 so back to 4 stations.  We’d count off after warm-o-rama and yep – we have 16 now as the MQ Hot Wax has snuck in to join us!

As usual, the pax had many terrible questions including “What number was I?” and “Where do the 3s go?”.

Then YHC would make the rounds to ensure the pax were following directions… which none were.  But alas after some barking by YHC and reading by the pax, it may have ended in a productive workout of the pectorals and biceps.  Here’s how that (kinda) went:

Pax 1 and 2 would KB bench x 20 or fail while pax 3 and 4 did “Helping Hand” 5 each arm, each pax.  Flapjack, repeato.  Then for round 3, switch the KB presses to flies and keep the Helping Hand. Repeato.

Hopefully, each pax would do two sets of KB presses, 4 sets of helping hands each arm and 2 sets of KB flies.  YHC was burnin’ by the end.

But thankfully YHC still had 4 minutes left of the 20, so we’d CRUSH the arms for 4 non-stop mins of burn. Full Curls x 15 straight into Skull Crushers x 15 back to Full Curls x 15 and Skull Crushers x 15 all in cadence of course.  Oh BABY!

Time to hand it over to BEP who would put the pax on the ground for some Mary… with TWENTY MINUTES TO GO!?!?!?!  YHC could hear the pax questioning if this was right… if this was possible.

BEP would call a variety of ab exercises, then with the rule of “no running” per the PB, we’d “slow mosey” as if we were on the beach next week (which means slowish run-ish whilst flexing at the other beachgoers).

The slow mosey was not in favor at first, but YHC and the pax would welcome it after multiple more sets of core.  BEP would surprise the pax with another break in the core work by calling a set of curls and skull crushers.

In the end, all pax’s chest and arms were ripped and nothing but 6-packs would be hardened behind the sweaty KB t-shirts, F3 shirts and tank tops.  Most shirts stayed on, thus the ripped bods and abs were an assumption, but a safe one.

The moleskine:

Great to co-Q with my brother, BEP!

The beach bod workout works.  It’s that simple and true.  Evidenced by the multiple cat-calls and honks the pax received from walks and motorists as they went by and couldn’t help but gaze at the pax in awe.

Jersey Boy hopped on stage to serve as inspiration to all during the curls, crushers and abs.  Damn that man looks good for just 30 years old!

Amen turned on the thrusters for the last lap ’round the grass – and not the usual way he blows out the heat!  He passed countless pax on his victory lap.

The helping hand (with proper effort and form) is a somewhat unknown and underrated exercise.  YHC feels it is great cardio and crushes the biceps.  And if your partner outweighs you by 50 lbs – it’ll work your quads too – just ask Ultraman, my partner in the gloom.

Not sure who ended up benching at the 45lb KB station but t-claps to ya!!!

Prayers, praises and announcements were offered up during COT.

Aye