Huddled Masses and Post-Coital Glow. . .

by | Aug 4, 2023 | Backblasts | 4 comments

The parking lot was empty that day, my friends—like the head of a politician, except with more potential for good. But AOL emerged from the darkness and the rest of the pax soon followed, like flies to a steaming pile of. . . (well, you get the picture).

The huddled masses had nothing to forewarn them that they would soon become wretched refuse yearning to breathe free on the teeming shore of Discovery Place Kids.

The mumblechatter was incessant, if not erudite.

Instructions were foisted, bells were hoisted, and brows were moisted.

Sweat was coaxed from every pore.

Complaints were heard, but summarily ignored.

Warmup:

  • Goose Steps
  • Bear Squat
  • Pirate Ship Ride
  • Mosey

Partner:

  • Partner Bell Swap
  • Bent-Over Row / Fat Bottomed Girls
  • Torso Tipovers / Big Girl Merkins
  • Side Lunges / Banana Boat
  • Forearm Curl / Elbow Plank

Individual:

  • Armageddon
  • Upright Row
  • I in the Sky
  • The Zipper (overhead bell presses with a run)

Mary:

  • X’s and Oh’s
  • Oblique V-up

The preponderance of attendees congregated at Lowe’s, sharing a glow that could only be described as post-coital but without any of the enjoyment. Most imbibed the bitter brew, but your humble correspondent does not truck in roasted bean rituals, so bird seed and a post-peak banana sufficed for sustenance. 

If you enjoyed the workout, it was my pleasure to pleasure you (and I mean that in the creepiest way possible). If you did not enjoy it, just consider this another sighting of Elvis.

4 Comments

  1. Toby on August 4, 2023 at 5:44 pm

    Jersey Boy,
    I wish to express my profound gratitude to you for your exquisite composition of a bb summary that masterfully encapsulates the intricate tapestry of events from the gloom. While I was not even there, with a deft and eloquent touch, you distilled the essence of the AO workout. You rendered it in a manner that is both insightful and captivating. Your dexterity in weaving together the multifarious strands of information showcases a remarkable acumen for linguistic artistry. Thus, it is with the utmost admiration and appreciation that I extend my heartfelt thanks for your exceptional contribution, which has undoubtedly enriched my understanding of the events taking place at the Cauldron today. You left an indelible impression upon me.

    Respectfully,
    Toby

  3. Ultraman on August 4, 2023 at 7:50 pm

    This BB and comment from Toby were not on my summer reading list. That was a mistake. This is quite honestly the greatest 1-2 reading punch ever!

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