10 for 1st F | 12 for 3rd F | FNG = Sweet & Low
Red October led the PAX in a 30-minute taper-friendly workout that consisted of Muricans, LBCs, Pistol Squats, Bear-crawl/Indian Run, and of course a warm-o-rama and Suzanne Summers-induced session of Mary. Ben Aflac, Josh Hartnett, Kate Beckinsale, and even Liv Tyler were present in spirit.
All kidding aside, Red October led the 1st F Q with solid Pearl Harbor knowledge. A Submariner himself formerly stationed at Pearl Harbor he is the closest thing we have to an expert in our midsts. However, Turnpike knows a curious amount of numerical details about the Attack on Pearl Harbor events. We learned about the men who gave their lives during that attack and how even the Arizona is still crying tears to this day (oil leaking slowly into the harbor).
It was truly a day that lives in infamy.
3rd F, YHC led 3rd F discussion on being a good husband. Not because I am, but because I strive to be and fall short (if you need references the M is equipped to support). We utilized the QSource Q1.5 as the leadoff for the day.
Scripture:
Ecclesiastes 9:9
Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of your meaningless life that God has given you under the sun–all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun.
Key Points:
- Accelerating or Decelerating – true in growth and in marriage
- Balance = maintenance
- Alignment then balance = smooth(er) sailing
- Both husband and wife aligned to God’s plan allows us to rebalance appropriately otherwise we are trying to satisfy each other our ourselves and it becomes exhausting.
- Control what we can control – We cannot make our wives love us more, but we can be more loveable. We cannot make our wives align to our plans or ideals, but we can be more aligned to Christ’s plan and support alignment for our wives. Control what you can control.
- ”Most problems in relationships come from one person being focused in his own needs and the other person’s behavior around those needs. Most problems in relationships would not be problems if one would focus on the other person’s needs and his own behavior around those needs.” Paraphrasing Dr. Neil T. Anderson
- Feedback loops are huge and we learned that most of us do not use them. Sounds like: “What I heard you say is _________. Is that right?” simple. Effective. Poorly used/remembered.
- Some (YHC included) reported being more “go with the flow” in an effort not to rock the boat at home. Sometimes the boat needs to be rocked when the direction is out of alignment from what God has in store.
- What if the goal isn’t a good retirement, a nice home, or a full bank account? What if the goal you are aligning on is JOY with each other? What would change for you? ECC 9:9 says God’s plan is to enjoy your life with your wife. What if the goal was joy and you both aligned on that?
- Learning and working on yourself when your partner does not mean we must be cognizant that stepping back in with new-found knowledge that they have not had the privilege of experiencing means we cannot come in like a wrecking ball and change things. To do this well we must have rules of engagement.
- Rules of engagement. How do you bring this alignment thing up as a strategic and spiritual leader in your home? Answer: different in everyone’s relationship. How do you bring other things up? Like vacations, bills, dates, investments, etc.? Explore using a similar way.
The discussion ended with many key takeaways for us as men. The biggest to me is that love is verb and being a good husband does not happen by accident. Being a good husband takes alignment, intentionality, communication, forbearance, and being centered on God’s Word which says the goal for our marriages is to enjoy each other.