This is the human-written (aka the old fashion way) tale of 7 HIMs coming together in support of a higher purpose, exemplifying the 3rd F principle.

Our dear nantan, one of the top 10 nantans to ever have led isotope, tore his labrum attempting monkey bars at a local playground (RIP). I didn’t know men had labrums, but after in-depth research on my work computer during a Zoom call with HR, it turns out I was getting my words mixed up.

Since he won’t exist to us for the next two months, we decided to raise awareness for his cause in search of a cure. So after meticulous planning over the previous several minutes, we set a goal to get the word out to literally 10s of people all over immediate vicinity of Lowes Foods in Huntersville. Zero dollars were raised.

And so we set off, where I delegated all Q responsibilities to Enron for some reason and let him lead us to a new section of greenway with debris and unbuilt bridges where several more labrums were nearly torn. Followed quickly by a memorial visit to the place where AM-PM went Alpha Predator on a deer, again followed by a 2X loop of hardcore hill. All the while we did variations of Fartlek…30s on 90s off…60s on 120s off…because that’s the way the nantan would’ve wanted it.

We spoke of fond memories of our nantan, and weaved in topics that all guys speak exhaustively about like weddings and such.

And then we all went our separate ways for some reason, but all faithfully ended up back at Lowes, which has coffee 3X cheaper and 100X better than SBUX according to a double blind taste test held by AMPM at a TBD future date.

Important notes: Cobra, Ichabod, and Swiftie, all of whom are historically not big on running, are absolutely crushing it in running and in life. Ich and Swift hit new Strava milestones every day, which Ich taught us works by constantly deleting your old activities. Mr. Holland is rebounding from thick throatal phlegm (pronounced flem, Enron) and will be kicking our butts again as soon as tomorrow. MQ Slingshot was down range so please for the love of everything don’t use the hotel pump soap in Miami. Stray ripped our collective hearts out like Lloyd Christmas.

So I must leave you with the inspiring words of our nantan, so that you too know that you can overcome torn body parts:

”Finishing that 5K was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I ate more fettuccini Alfredo and drank less water than I have in my entire life. People always talk about triumphs of the human spirit. Well, today, I had a triumph of the human body. That’s why everybody was applauding for me at the end, my guts and my heart. And while I eventually puked my guts out, I never puked my heart out. I’m very, very proud of that.” – Michael Cherrybomb Scott

PS – seriously, get well soon CB