It wasn’t supposed to be a kettlebell work, but I brought three and a bunch of other people brought one, so we wound up with 7 to share between 9. That worked out OK because some people decided on the Choose Your Own Adventure option and ran while we repped. Waffle House got in nearly 2 miles, so that’s not nothin’! Of course, he missed out on a lot of fun exercises—some involving nipples.

A “Full Nipple Alignment” (or “FNA” or “effin A”) Merkin is when the hands are back further than usual to be in alignment with the nipples (your hands with your nipples to be clear). It’s a little harder (the exercise, not your nipples) that way and works different muscles. I’m all about different muscles, although I hate mussels and I’ve never been to Muscle Shoals (but I hear they’ve got the Swampers, who’ve been known to pick a song or two).

Mumblechatter was mostly a mix of “That’s what she said” jokes and complaints about going four inches further (That’s NOT what she said).

In between the nonsense, this eclectic group managed to do a buttload of exercises and a crapload of reps in service of a full-body workout just in time for Halloween and Thanksgiving, where we can indulge in the Baskin Robbins M&M’s-filled pumpkin cake and the turkey-shaped ice cream cake (I shudder to imagine what the flavor is). You see? This is why people love America. Someday, we’re going to make good on our threat to walk in to Dunkin’ Donuts/Baskin Robbins at 6:20am and get ice cream instead of coffee. Then I can  die happy.

Gnarly Goat did a drive-by (presumably to avenge Tupac) and we COTed in honor of those who are sick or suffering in our midst and around the world.

Thanks to all the men (regulars and otherwise) who showed up to my first Q since my completely uneventful and ho-hum surgery. Thanks, gents! It’s good to be back!