FNG-1= Flintstone, FNG-2= The Natural, FNG-3=Agent Os0, FNG-4= Upstate

19 hard-chargers sallied out in perfect gloom conditions for an epic rematch of the 2019 Q v. Q Championship (there’s NO WAY it’s been 6 years??!!).

With a rowdy throng of pax assembled, the right honorable Scrappy tossed the commemorative coin (exclusively minted by Franklin Mint and Squeegee Company, guaranteed to never lose value and now available for purchase for a limited time only by calling 1-800-THE GOAT) to see how the proceedings would start.  Having won the toss, YHC implemented QvQ strategery by “deferring” to the second half.  YHC has seen for most NFL games so I figured it must be a good move… but I later realized there is no kickoff in QvQ, and in fact there is no real “second half”.  Furthermore, my worthy opponent confused matters by deferring the deferral, which was seemingly allowed by the judges.  Befuddled by this early-morning deferral of the deferral, YHC simply made a split-second decision based upon my inbred southern politeness… “He can go first”. 

And thus we were off like a herd of turtles. 

The former champ led off with a Goat-mimicking (mimicry being the sincerest form of flatter I am told) CoP, followed by a shoulder-burning version of the Meow Mix.  We “cat”apultued to and fro across the parking lot as the big cat meow’d  his “cat”erwauling cadence to 9… with the exception of one which inexplicably went to 10, which while not “cat”astrophic, was a mistake nonetheless.  

With the Meow Mix completed, 9’er dispatched the pax on a parking-lot-line pain promenade, which required the pax to accomplish complex math.  Frankly, this may have been his undoing, as the pax are receptive to exactly ZERO math demands at such an early hour. 

9’ers time expired and it was time for YHC’s bleatdown beatdown. Recalling years earlier when the MeowMan had bested me with my own medicine (ie a jug-a-lug ambush at GCC), I sensed an opportunity to repay the favor.  It was time to UP the “Meow Mix” to a full-blown MEOW MANIA MADNESS.  YHC spent the next 22 minutes wowing the crowd with Meow Minutiae that included anything and everything Meow. If the pax “knew their 9’er” they got a break, and even some mobility ie meowbility.  If not, they got the full cat scratch fever. 

Jersey Boy and Blackbeard amazed the pax with their knowledge of all things kitty (JB’s shouting of “finicky” as the clock struck zero was an amazing moment which will go down in f3 lore), and Agent Oso (as a incognito Big I alum) turned out to have a few knowledge nuggets stored away, as did Chilly Willy who sang forth with the exact date of the innaugural “Neck of the Woods”.

We all burned our entire allotment of nine lives as the freeway traffic whizzed by on what should be a sleepy side street.  This worried me as Shake starting getting the judges worked up about safety and other things. 

In the end, the judges opined that both Q’s were likely in the negative points column, but a winner had to be chosen and the ruminant’s hoof was raised in goatly glory.   

Suz Tzu said, “Know thy enemy.” 

Well, Goat says do one better and “Know thy brother”.  I am proud to call 9’er a brother and I probably know him as well as anyone… as a brother Big I grad, veteran, firefighter on the best department in the nation, and most of all as a brother F3’er.  

Coffeeteria was outstanding too.  For those that hung around long enough there was side-splitting laughter around Blackbeard’s fatback story.

That was a morning upon which we can hang our hats.  All 3 F’s in abundance.  FNGs in attendance.  The Natural amazing us all with his youthful endurance and ability.  Continue getting out there and knowing thy brother.  

Goat Tzu