The Festivus workout and celebration happened. Here’s what unfolded:
With mere minutes to spare, Jersey Boy (YHC) drove up Starsky and Hutch style with Festivus pole and cookies in tow. The pole was situated at the center of the gathering throng and Jersey Boy explained the origins of Festivus:
Many Christmases ago, Frank Costanza went to buy a doll for his weak, bespectacled son. He reached for the last one they had, and so did another man. As Frank rained blows upon him, he realized there had to be another way. And out of that, a new holiday was born: a Festivus for the rest of us! Instead of gifts and Santa, it’s the airing of grievances and feats of strength. Instead of a tree, an aluminum pole (high strength-to-weight ratio and no distracting tinsel).
In lieu of burpees, PAX were encouraged to air their grievances. Moses volunteered first, citing indecision, then Jersey Boy “decided” to share the many PAX-focused grievances from his prepared list that included Cobra Kai, Canuck, Moses, Soprano, Uncle Rico, Phil Puma, Gnarly Goat, Outlaw, Cousin Eddie, and the 20 out of 30 PAX who didn’t pay for the Freed to Lead books they got at the F3 tenth anniversary celebration.
An unprompted Gnarly Goat unleashed a stream of invectives for his airing of grievances, starting with Jersey Boy and making the rounds of the great unwashed surrounding the noble Festivus pole. A smattering of other grievances were aired, which kept all of us from paying a visit to Burpeeville.
Standard (read: “weird”) Jersey Boy exercises ensued, with a bit of running thrown in for cardio. Rocks were insinuated into the mix, enabling a rendition of “Hands, Shoulders, Knees and Toes,” among other activities that sparked, let's just say, mixed compliance.
Jersey Boy pointed out the only valid lesson of Festivus, which is that the holidays should not be about stuff. There’s nothing wrong with the tradition of gifts, but please don’t get caught in the spending trap or the guilt that often comes with the inevitable inequities of gift giving. Focus instead on truly appreciating your family, friends, and neighbors. And for those who celebrate Christmas, maybe even take some time to consider that it’s the celebration of Christ’s birth and contemplate some of His teachings that could change your life like they’ve changed the world.
Moses took us out with his typically wise words.
Thanks to Dragon Slayer for converging, and to all who showed up for this bit of holiday nonsense. And my last grievance for the year: you didn’t eat enough cookies! Now I'm going to have to do it!
