Eleven of Mountain Island’s finest made it this morning to honor and celebrate Chuck Norris’ 75th Birthday and participate in the annual Arm-wrestling competition in the octagon.
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
Disclaimer: Q may have spent more prep time compiling Chuck Norris jokes/anecdotes than actually planning exercises for the Thang. Some of this was clearly evidenced by the making it up on the fly approach since not sure of the allotted time necessary for the Octagon. So the following represents a loose recollection at best. In addition, while Q made improvements with his previous counting issues, the delivery and timing on the Chuck Norris jokes left some room for improvement.
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Warm-o-Rama
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High knees, Butt kicks, side shuffle step x 2
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Side straddle hop I/C (Arizona tries to further weigh down Hambone’s ruck)
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Toy soldier I/C (Hambone responds to Oktoberfest hazing by referencing his “fucked up bacon”)
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Windmill I/C (aka Back and Forth)
One of the morning joggers was recruited/peer pressured into participating with us at the beginning. I think we just may see him again some Thursday morning
Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience
The Thang
Killing time before the Octagon. Need to get those arms loosened up for the armwrestling tourney
Chuck Norris can speak French… In Russian.
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‘Mercans I/C – 15
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Squats I/C – 15 – Hambone tags in on this one to keep some semblance of momentum going with the workout
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Lunges – 20 yards back and forth
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Carolina Dry Dock I/C – 15
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Burpees – 15 on your own. Collective Pax groan
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‘Mercan curb inclines I/C – 10
Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
Mosey towards the gazebo 1/5 mile.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
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Diamond ‘Mercans I/C – 10
Mosey towards path to Gazebo 1/5 mile
Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.
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Mason Twist I/C – 15
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WWI sit up 15 single count – Made sense since we were already sitting down
Mosey down the hill to the gazebo
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
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Planter dips I/C – 15
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Decline planter ‘Mercans I/C – 10. Upon further review, perhaps not the best choice of exercise right after dips
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
The Tourney
On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
Pax lines up in a row shoulder to shoulder to determine opponent. Single elimination style arm-wrestling tournament using the tables in the gazebo. Note that technically the gazebo is a hexagon due to its six sided shape, but Octagon sounds much cooler. OxyClean enters the tournament as the defending champion and El Tigre won the belt the year before that.
Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
Early round match-ups of note included Grip besting Oktoberfest, El Tigre and Hambone having an extended match before Hambone being victorious, and Oxy once again returning to the final.
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
Final match pitted OxyClean against Tantrum, with Oxy Clean unifying and retaining the belt. The Tourney did not take as long as expected due to single elimination format, although its highly likely we will forget that fact by next year.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
Mosey on back to the parking lot
Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.
Mary
Chuck Norris can jump start a car using jumper cables attached to his nipples
Sampler platter of exercises across every other Pax in the circle due to large number in the group
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Leg Up/Downs? while lying on back (El Tigre)
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Some kinda leg lift (Arizona)
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LBC (Jingle Bells)
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WWII (Dirt)
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Low dolly flutter (Hambone)
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Flat leg crunches (Natty Lite)
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
Moleskine
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Great crew today, the arm-wrestling competition was a great draw to the Gloom.
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Congratulations to OxyClean.The office workers in the Pax apparently need to do more wrist exercises at their desk
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Why ruck between breweries when you can just get a ride
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There could potentially be an interesting Cobalt triathlon that involves craft beer stops slated for early this summer
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Hallowed be our name (just another facet of Q working on that delivery aspect)
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Happy Birthday Chuck Norris
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Great work men!
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.