A couple weeks ago I was minding my own business, making some salty comment on Slack as I am wont to do, when Jolly suggested that it would make a great topic when I Q’d Recover the following week. I ignored his suggestion and went on with my day. Earlier this week when Jolly again mentioned my upcoming Q, I made a witty retort and threw in an emoji for added emphasis. My name was not on the calendar, I had never verbally agreed, and I had not been to a Recover workout in weeks. I figured it was just another case of an Incognitian incognating. Whatevs. Yesterday, Jolly Roger let me know on Slack that he was concerned as he had not yet seen a preblast for the workout. I tried to ignore it, but my conscience got the better of me. I asked if he was being serious and he said he was. I delayed another hour or so. Still no preblast from Jolly himself. Could he be seriously serious? Wait another hour. Nothing. Dammit! Fine. I’ll preblast a workout I never agreed to Q.
The alarm goes off at 0415. Second time this week. Remember when workouts used to begin at 0530? Maybe my non-F3 friends have a point when they say this club is a cult. As is typical prior to a workout, I need to take a dump moments before walking out the door. It’s like the sphincter takes an extra 20 minutes to realize the day has indeed started. Like any red-blooded American male, I take the opportunity to check the news headlines on my phone. What’s that? Someone is pissed off about [insert topic here]? Oh, let me read that ridiculously long article that could have been summed up with, “person offended for no good reason; expects other [persons] should stroke [his/her/zhes] ego.” Dammit! I took too long reading a pointless article and now I’m going to be late to the workout.
Show up at Starbucks at 0446. Four guys standing around. I hop out of the car and insult the runners for not starting already. They say they were waiting for the Q despite the fact that I was not planning to run. Do they need their M’s to tell them it’s time to eat? To go to bed? To take a shower? Wait, don’t answer that. I’ve smelled some of the guys *before* workouts and I think some Ms are failing to do their jobs. Anyway, Jolly tells me the runners (him, T-Bone and Wingman) will be doing a 4-mile loop and meeting back at Starbucks at 0515 for a stretch. Red Cedar and I head off to the parking deck for some stair climbing (up and down stairs 5X followed by a lap up ramp and around deck; repeat cycle 4X). While stepping, I opine that the runners are doing 4 miles in the time it took me to do 2 yesterday. Impressive. But as Cedar and I return to Starbucks at 0518 there are no runners in sight. I put my ruck in the car. No runners. I do a few stretches on the sidewalk. No runners. I stretch some more. It’s 0424. Cedar mentions he sees headlamps coming up the road. I go get my wallet for coffee. Jolly and company roll in at 0426 ready to stretch. Excuse me? We each do our own thing for a couple minutes until the nice lady opens the doors at the coffee shop. Dammit, I guess I didn’t need to look up ideas for a 15-minute recovery workout.
It’s Lent and I gave up coffee (and other drinks that don’t begin with “W” and end with “ater”). So as I’m waiting for the others to purchase their nectar of the gods, I decide on the topic we should discuss this morning. Moments later, Jolly and T-Bone come out of the shop talking about college sports and whether schools should pay their athletes. Not the deep discussion I was planning on as Q, but sure — I have an opinion on that subject; I’ll play along. The conversation was lively and jumped from college sports to Olympics to prison sentences to motorcycle helmets to gun lobbyists to CSAUP schedules and back to college sports. Dammit, why did I bother trying to come up with a worthwhile topic when the talk practically lead itself?
And so here I am writing a back blast. I figure it’s the least I could do as Q of today’s workout. Aside from some encouragement for Red Cedar as we were huffing and puffing up some stairs, I did very little leading in the gloom. Aside from researching a couple of useful stretches after a run, I did very little to help the pax recover. Aside from choosing the table to sit at outside, I did very little leading in the discussion. If you’re new to Qing and you want to ease into it, I suggest taking the Q at Recover. You do practically nothing — absolutely nothing if you decide to skip the back blast too. And that might not be a bad idea considering that no one reads them anymore. Dammit, I spent all this time for a couple of T-Claps.