14 pax on the 14th! Pi day! Not to be confused with PIE day which explains Pierogi and Jolly's absence.
After arriving for an early ruck with a few amigos, I quickly realized something wasn't right. Sure, there was a decent amount of fog, both in the air and my head. However, it was DARK at the AO – lights were dead. Since it was my birthday, I decided to take that glass half full aproach and confirm that the lights were not off but THE GLOOM WAS ON!
I enjoyed a quick ruck stroll with Burns/TBC/Dallas/Captain, where we managed to hit as many nasty hills as possible in a couple miles, then it was time to greet the pax. I told these fellas that the workout was "ruck friendly…ish" But, that trick only works once (MadSci a couple weeks ago), so they had one strap off until we eased into the main course without any joint pounding nonsense.
Trey (FNG…now Pearl!) was the first on the scene, with Bagboy, and Lex who said he couldn't make the ruck standard because he was riding a uniocorn or something (figures, no Unicorn posted). Then a few Monster repeaters: Squiggy, Gurley, Creeper, and Pusher showed their mugs. Thank you for coming back.
Although having this guy roaming around in the dark is not ideal.HEADLAMPS ON!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kg7psAFAZro
The pleasant surprises were Curd and Duvall. Although the Duvall sighting was foreshadowed the fact that I bumped into the unofficial mayor behind Summit, Friday night. Made me proud to have a few Green all-stars toiling at the ever so gloomy AO.
So from what I was able to make out in the dark…we did some things. Here is what was prescribed by YHC. What happened in the shadows, only the pax know.
Warmup
Imperial Storm Trooper X15 IC
Toy Soldier X 19 IC
Cotton :Picker X15 IC
Windmill X15 IC
Arm Circles (still not sure these do anything outside of warning the pax that I am about to hurt their arms)
Thang
This is likely the last time I will try to blend a war history lesson into a beatdown. People are not there to think but to clear and calm their minds so they can think later at work. I asked "Is anyone familiar with the Macedonian Phalanx?", which was met with a firm and almost disgusted chorous of "NOOOOOOO!". I think the pax were nervous that this was some twisted new torture device, like the iron pumpkin, but with elephant tusks and bondage straps.
I quickly explained that it was a battle formaition used by Alexander the Great where rows of soldiers carried long spears at varying angles based on their proximity to the front of the formation. This was going to be analagous to the main section of our workout. 5 rows of 3 men assembled behind cinder blocks. Then…
All IC X14, Rotate and move up until everyone hits every row of blocks
First Row – Block Merkins
Second Row – Bent Over Rows
Third Row – Curls
Fourth Row – Standing Chest Press
Fifth Row – Overhead Press
We had a cameo by Moses somewhere in the middle of this. Thanks for saying hi and grabbing a block for a few reps!
REPEATO!!! – IC X 10
Next we did some static exercises with the same philosophy in mind…move lower as you get to the front, then move.
Front Row – Bear Crawl about 25 yards to crosswalk, Lunge walk back, then end of the line and all rotate up
Second Row – Superman
Third Row – Low Plank
Fourth Row – Regular Plank
Fifth Row – Al Gore
REPEATO!
Visual to help https://twitter.com/F3_Wingman/status/709381708093587456/photo/1
My ruck was already on max load today and felt like twice that at the end of the aformentioned nonsense, so time to move into the light. We moseyed down the path to the handrails in the hood for…
Dip and D'erican Ladder 1-7
Single Leg Squats X14 (7 each leg)
Mosey back for ….
MARY
14 WWII Situps
14 Pillow Talk Each Side IC
14 LBC IC
14 J-Lo IC
14 Dying Cockroach IC
Finale
Everyone sings happy birthday in plank position , while YHC retrieves phone from car. (compulsory, not spontaneous)
Moleskine
- It figures that with our largest turnout at the River Monster, to date, we'd have some sort of SNAFU. No lights. But, I am always amazed by the grit of F3 men, a few casually observed, but not a single complaint…it was understood that a beatdown would be served whether you could see it or not.
- 14 feels like a good natural number for this AO. It will always have a "heavy awkward stuff" flavor to it, and we will continue to add toys as time goes on.
- This marks about my 1/2 year anniversary with F3…many changes for the better and I owe all of you a big thanks for that. Glad to be able to bring a couple FNGs into the fold as well…keep mining the area…other men need this.
- Bagboy – thanks for taking us out and fighting a cold to come support the "home field".