Farting & Licking Lampposts


The MQ tricked me into leading a running workout a few weeks ago. As a non-runner, I spent some time researching a workout that allowed each participant to improve regardless of their current abilities. When I came across the fartlek, I thought it might be the answer assuming I could find the right place to do it. Vermillion was an option as was the neighborhood behind DPK, but eventually the business park loop won out when I settled on the lamp posts as markers to continually vary distance for each pace.

fart·lek
/’färtlik/
noun
a system of training for distance runners in which the terrain and pace are continually varied to eliminate boredom and enhance psychological aspects of conditioning.
 

The Thang

At 7:15 PM we had 6 of 7 runners sweating in the parking lot despite not moving an inch. We skipped the pleasantries and moved straight to the main course:

  1. Runners are sent one at a time, running counter-clockwise around inside loop of business park with the following instructions:
    • Run at your “5k pace” the length of 5 lamp posts (typical pace)
    • Run at your “400m pace” for 3 lamp posts (sprint)
    • Run at your “half marathon pace” for 2 lamp posts (slow mosey)
  2. If a runner passes you, run his current pace to complete which ever stage you are currently in

Repeat the three, alternating paces until time’s up or until you would be unable to complete another loop in the assigned time. Despite the varying paces, I believe all runners got in two loops with half the runners circling back to run in with the six (aka Q).

Sweat Stains on the Moleskin

  • MiniMe sent a text with 4 minutes to go asking where we were. Does anyone actually check Slack/Twitter that close to the starting gun?
  • Tantrum missed the memo about the location change and arrived late yet still lapped me despite my half lap head start.
  • Disclosure: I had to audible for myself to do 4 posts normal, 1 post sprint and 3 posts walk to slow the heart rate enough to repeato.
  • Rumor has it the nantan and the former nantan just ran a set pace the entire time. Apparently leaders make rules; they don’t follow them.
  • Thanks to Tantrum, Silver Bullet and 9 Lives for coming back to get me and pushing me to finish strong.
  • Was it hot (and humid) as Hades out there or was that just me?
  • Thanks to MiniMe for ending us in prayer.

I wanted to try vary the pace rather than always run the same pace like most workouts. The fartlek method sounded like a good idea, and the idea of counting the lamp posts to determine distances was intnded to mix up the distances each time since a complete cycle involved 10 posts while there were only 44 posts total, each at varying distances from each other. This resulted in different lengths for each cycle each time around the loop If I were to do it again, I would choose a shorter loop and/or different numbers of objects for the stages. Still, I liked the new spin for a run.

Thanks go out to Gnarly Goat for getting me into this cult to begin with, Jimmy O for tricking me into running the BRR, Silver Bullet for volun-telling me to Q Night Ranger and JollyRoger for agreeing to a WOTP credit for attendance at the workout. If you’re trying to EH someone and they complain 0530 is too early. Have them run at NightRanger in the summer months and when they complain about how hot it is, mention the cooler temps before sunrise — I’ll take the gloom over the afternoon sun any day. Cheers!