PRELIMINARY SECTION:
It was the commemoration of my 5-year F3versary. Thirteen good dudes showed up to honor the occasion (or just randomly, we don't know).
MIDDLE SEGMENT:
We worked out with small rocks, put in a couple of miles, and did "The Streets of Philadelphia," "Clackers," "Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes," and other made-up exercises. Grumblechatter was heard. Compliance was low. The Q broke his rock. (This is why Clacker Balls were outlawed with the case: "United States v. Article Consisting of 50,000 Cardboard Boxes More or Less, Each Containing One Pair of Clacker Balls." Not joking.)
Moses took us out with the C.O.T. and had a few kind words about the Q of honor. Thank you, sir!
THE IMPORTANT BIT:
Coffeeteria was world-class. Goat regaled us with stories from his college years, including when he stayed up all night to film an epic movie about epics (weed was proffered but repudiated, no post-production work occurred, no evidence of the event remains—just as in every great epic). YHC shared his IMDB directorial filmography: one commercial about porcine products ("PORK: Eat it while you're young") and one PG-13 film about bondage that we'll leave to your imagination.
Lots of other exceptional contributions from all around, but perhaps the most disturbing story came from Waffle House, who actually thought it would be a great idea to watch The Wolf of Wall Street with his in-laws. Just a reminder:
I'm sure that wasn't awkward at all. Next on their family movie-night playlist: The Human Centipede.
THE WARM FUZZY PART:
Special props to Moses for EHing me lo those many years ago and to Waffle House for picking up the six at my first Murph (I wouldn't be here without either of you). My gratitude to all who showed today and to the many pax who've taken a minute to get to know me over these years. Joining F3 has been a highlight of my life. I love and appreciate you all, gentlemen!