Groan! Is it 0430 already? 9-Lives said it best today, unless another FNG gets a pirate name, this may be the last #WOTP in LKN. Jolly never mentioned anything about how tiring it is to corral a group of men in the gloom and get them to do something meaningful. But now day #4 is in the books and you my friend are probably wondering what you missed — or what you accomplished if you’re in the list above. Well never fear; regardless of your attendance, the back blast is here to forever recognize the accomplishements of 16 of the finest pax in NoCo (aka LKN, aka Isotope).
Disclaimer: I had decided to do the Ruff the week before as I was deciding on ideas for each of the 6 #WOTP workouts. I tried to contact Ruffles — the originator of said workout — by email and got no response. I tried to send a DM on Twitter but he isn’t following me so I made a tweet asking him for a follow. No response. I asked the MQ if he knew of another way to get in touch but nothing. So instead I was forced to “wing it”. Any dissimilarity to the actual Ruff can be blamed on him who — ironically — was present for this morning’s beat down.
RUNNING THE RUFF (or something like it)
Wynfield Forest Clubhouse: Let’s mosey.
Immediate #grumblechatter that there is no warm-up. YHC attempts a disclaimer in motion but the pax are each having their own conversations. Oh well, I suppose they’ll figure it out as we go.
Wynfield Creek and Parkcrest: SSH x10 IC
Complaints that we stopped for that. Nothing else? SMH and continue running towards Gilead.
Wynfield Creek and McDiarmid: SSH x10 IC, CDD x10 IC
Ohh, I see where this is going. Paces already beginning to wane.
Wynfield Creek and Tartan Ridge: SSH x10 IC, CDD x10 IC, Squats x10 IC
The pax begin telling YHC how the Ruff works. Supposedly you add exercises until the end, then drop them as you head back to AO. Too bad, so sad. I offered a week to get me details, now you’re doing it my way. Hope you’re ready for a long haul to Taunton. Arrgh!
Wynfield Creek and Taunton: SSH x10 IC, CDD x10 IC, Squats x10 IC, Merkins x10 IC
Twister appears out of nowhere. Says he thought the workout started at 0530. Impressive that he tracked us down but he’ll pay later when he has to run back to his car after the workout. YHC was berated for starting before the six had arrived, but the plan was to allow the stragglers to remain at Taunton. That idea was shot down unanimously so we continued south.
Wynfield Creek and Stourbridge: SSH x10 IC, CDD x10 IC, Squats x10 IC, Merkins x10 IC, Monkey Humpers x10 IC
OK, so I may have called the merkins too early. My arms are already sore. The pax is eager to let me know I forgot to stop for dips at the guard rail. I remind them that Q spots are open in September if they would like to lead. Comments erupt about salty pirate attitude. Despite another street to the south, we head back north. Complaints that I don’t care about Abberley.
Wynfield Creek and Taunton: SSH x10 IC, CDD x10 IC, Squats x10 IC, Merkins x10 IC, Monkey Humpers x10 IC, LBC x10 IC
A cop is sitting at the intersection. We made sure to do proper form on the Humpers for his enjoyment. More complaints that we are supposed to drop an exercise on the way back. Lawn Dart doesn’t like that the ground is wet. Grumbles that we won’t make it back in time.
Wynfield Creek and Oxfordshire: CDD x10 IC, Squats x10 IC, Merkins x10 IC, Monkey Humpers x10 IC, LBC x10 IC, Pretzel Crunch Left x10 IC
I yield to the pax and drop the first exercise. Criticism that I am not giving the pax a full workout. Someone offers fatherly advice about being a father and not a friend. Why are we ignoring the right leg? I’m going to be running in circles now.
Wynfield Creek and Thornbury: CDD x10 IC, Squats x10 IC, Merkins x10 IC, Monkey Humpers x10 IC, LBC x10 IC, Pretzel Crunch Left x10 IC, Pretzel Crunch Right x10 IC
It’s now more certain that we will not get back on time. Confusion over which leg is first for pretzel crunches (who cares?). YHC worries that he may not be invited back, but then remembers that the MQ isn’t around so he doesn’t need to know (unless he reads long back blasts).
Wynfield Creek and Taybrook: Downward Dog, Right and Left Pigeon
Wait, what’s this? A white flag from the Q? I offer an intermission thinking the pax will be elated and thank me for my compassion. Instead I get complaints that we are skipping the workout. I ask for some 70s porn music to go along with the coos during the pigeon and all I get is “MMM MMM MMM MMM” by the Crash Test Dummies. Payback will be another long run back to Blloming Arbor.
Wynfield Creek and Blooming Arbor: LBC x10 IC, Pretzel Crunch Left x10 IC, Pretzel Crunch Right x10 IC
With about 3 minutes left in the workout, it’s obvious there’s about to be a full on mutiny. We’re not fast enough during the runs to please Travolta. The Q is insulted for walking the last 20 yards. When I (lie and) say I’m holding back for the six, I’m told we have HIMs that are already taking care of that. I stick with just the MARY exercises but in my head I hear Amen complaining that there’s no J-Lo.
Wynfield Creek and Glenside: Burpees x5 OYO
These guys are going to give the Q a Ruff time no matter what he does so why not do something reprehensible. YHC calls for burpees and everyone stands around. YHC begins doing them and I hear, “Oh, he’s serious.” One thing I’ve learned qing 4 workouts in 4 days is that you may as well dish it out because you’re going to hear gripes whether it’s good or bad, easy or hard. At least burpees shut everyone up for a little bit.
Wynfield Creek and Oakham: Recover, recover
Technically we could have done one last set at the street on the right side, but I made the comment that those on the left side of the road could do another set while those on the right of the double yellow lines could end at the AO. Finally! Everyone listens without complaints.
BETTER LATE THAN NEVER MOLESKIN
- All saltiness in back blast is for effect only. I had a great time this morning and I’m thankful for all the guys that chose to join me in the gloom. Strangely, I thrive on the mumblechatter so please don’t stop on my account!
- Yes, we did a 45+ minute workout (emphasis on the “plus”). You’d probably have to pay extra for that privilege at Camp Gladiator. #yourewelcome
- Pat yourself on the back. You did approximately 3 miles this morning. Add a few sets of exericises and constant chatter and that’s not too shabby for 50 minutes.
- For future Ruff Qs, I think you’re supposed to add an exercise at each intersection as you run toward Gilead (including Abberley) and then drop one as you head back. Although I’m sure the pax will complain either way.
- Travolta was out in front the entire time. If not for the reflective trim on his shorts, I don’t think any of us would have seen him.
- I asked Ultraman if Snoopy would approve. He claims the doc told him 4 minutes running, 2 minutes walking. Well, I don’t think we ever ran more than 4 minutes at a time so there’s that.
- Twister has made it to 4 of 6 workouts. Unless I’m mistaken, he will be the only guy to complete 5 workouts to earn his patch the old-fashioned way. Great job!
- 9-Lives and Jimmy O (any others?) helped with the #six multiple times. Run intensive workouts tend to spread the pax out and having guys help in this regard is always MUCH appreciated.
- Lawn Dart asked if all the #WOTP workouts were the same. No! That’s one reason six Qs in a row is so tough — coming up with ideas so that Twister doesn’t get bored!
- 40 of the 50 #WOTP patches have been distributed. Last chance to be a part of history by bringing $5 to either Cauldron or Mighty Jungle.
- Service project at Grand Oak Elementary this weekend. 0730 until. Sweet C, Roadie and Turncoat are the F3 contacts. Work involves grounds maintenance to get ready for the new school year.
- Prayers for Holiday, Boar Hog and Kingfish — all of whom have lost close loved ones over the past week. The Wilderness crew offered a moment of silence during CoT today to pay respect because sometimes the right words fail me when it comes to dealing with those kinds of emotions. Aye!