Five men showed up to endure the usual (or rather: “unusual”) complement of made-up exercises and celebrate my 300th F3 workout in just over a year, plus my virgin Master Q at Isotope.
We could have been having breakfast at the Country Club, sipping mimosas with the other distinguished gentlemen, but here’s what we did instead:
Warm-a-Thang-a-Rama
(There’s no warm-up. It’s all just hard work.)
- Mosey 1.5 times around the field
- 50 Goose-Steps
- 50 Girl Fights
- 30 Pirate Ships
- 20 Bobby Hurleys OYO
- 40 Metronomes
- 30 Crab Toe Touches
- 30 Wall Climbers
- 60-Seconds Side Wall Planks (each side)
- Mosey to rock pile
- 10 Karate Kids (one legged squats) with kick at the end. Miagi say: “Win, lose. No matter. You make good fight. Earn Respect.”
- 5-Minutes Arm-O-Rama (10 Full Curls/10 Shoulder Presses/10 Skull Crushers). Repeato walking all the way around the big field. Total 150-200 reps. Ugh!
- 30 Golfzillas (Rock swings) Hippie wisely opted for another exercise since he was warned about the lower-back implications of this one.
- 50 Bent Over Rows
- 30 Crab Toe Touches
- 20 Rock Transplants
- 20 Partner Leg Throwdowns
- 20 Partner Rock Swaps
- 30 Bear Squats (on all fours with shins staying parallel to ground, rocking back toward heels and up again)
- 30 Flutter Chest Presses
- 60-Seconds Table Plank (crab position but with body horizontal)
- 40 Folding Tables (Triceps Dips from Table-Plank position)
- 20 Teabag Partner Leg Throwdowns OYO (zero compliance on the teabag variation of this exercise)
- 30-Seconds Upside-Down Plank
- 40 Prisoner Squats
- I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up
- 30 Oblique V-Ups
- 30 Superman Pulses
- Upward Facing Dog (1 minute)
- 20 Big Girl Merkins (elbows tight to side)
- 40 Metronomes
- 30 Wide-Leg Sit-Ups
Recover Recover
Moleskine
You know you’re doing some weird exercises when the pax compares them to Japanese porn. (I wouldn’t know, of course, so I’ll have to take their word for it. Besides, the Japanese censors usually blur out the naughty bits.) D’oh!
We had a general mutiny on the Teabag Partner Leg Throwdowns due to some of the pax wearing shorts (in 40-degrees??) Apparently, the risk of glimpsing something unseemly was just too great. I get it. Awesome abs are not worth being scarred for life.
In the COT, YHC invoked the good Doctor King and his mission for equality (it’s not just a bank holiday, people!) We contemplated the dire circumstances of people in war-torn countries, had a moment of silent prayer, and finished with “Let There Be Peace on Earth.” Amen!
We found a guy sleeping in his car at the park. I checked in with him after the workout and it turns out he had been booted out by his girlfriend. I offered for him to stay at our home, but he said he had friends but just didn’t want to wake them up so late. So I went for the EH and we may have an FNG (and a person of color, which we could use) joining us next weekend!
Hall Monitor: thanks for thinking of me for the Master Q at the original Lake Norman AO (or so I’m told)! It’s an honor to carry the shovel flag for this great organization.