Five men awoke to a repeato of sub-40 temperatures following an oh-so-nice Friday morning in the upper 50s. But they recalled Christ’s sacrifice on this holy weekend, made the choice to suffer a little themselves, put on their big boy pants, and supported YHC at Mighty Jungle. Despite a preblast that mentioned gloves and a sharp intellect, Gnarly Goat forgot his gloves. Did he forget his IQ too? Only time would tell.
Four men were ready to roll at 0700.
- SSH (25 IC), then mosey to far end of parking lot
- IST (20 IC), then butt kickers back to cars
- Mountain Climbers (??? IC)
Toxic comes in on two wheels which gets GnarlyGoat excited. He begins chattering which throws off my cadence. How many times did we climb the mountain? No idea. But we climbed and it was good.
- Karaoke to far end of parking lot (half left/half right)
- Cotton Pickers (15 IC), then high knees back to cars
- Mericans (10 IC), then mosey to far end of parking lot
- Windmills (5 IC)
YHC has everyone plank as he outlines The Plan. Each man will take turns calling an exercise to do in cadence. We will do sets of 15, then run to next corner. At each of 4 corners, the next man will choose an exercise to call out, followed by the preceding exercises. Burpees are off the table, BUT if someone screws up the cycle, he shall be penalized with 5 burpees on his own.
YHC starts with Carolina Dry Docks (10 IC).
Toxic points out that the rules stated we would do 15 reps of each exercise. Is that what I said? My bad. Let’s run to the next corner.
Rocket is up next, and — following the rules as good MQs do — opts for Dips (15 IC) after which comes the CDD (10 IC). On to the next corner.
Gnarly Goat is third and we all assume we’ll be doing Mericans. But instead Goat goes with the Air Press (10 IC) followed by Dips (15 IC) and CDD (10 IC). On to the 3rd corner.
Banana Peel is 4th and must have felt gipped by Goat’s choice so he opts to do Mericans (10 IC) followed by Dips…
Whoa, not so fast yellow-clad one. You missed the squats and Toxic called you on it. That’s 5 burpees for you. But then Gnarly Goat gets all #ISI and #IAm3rd on us and suggests we all do the burpee penalty. And so we do, because that’s what F3 is all about.
Following burpees, we do the squats, dips and dry docks. Then we run to the original corner.
Toxic gets the anchor spot and opts for Monkey Humpers (10 IC) after which he leads Mericans (10 IC), Air Squats (10 IC), Dips (15 IC), and CDD (10 IC).
At this point, I considered a second loop — doing all the preceding sets again, but I wanted a chance at some block work so I told the men not to forget what was done so far and then grab a cinder block. Rocket made some comment about farmer carrying, so YHC obliged and had eah man grab two blocks. I care about your opinions — and your fitness.
As Henry the VIII once sang, “second verse, same as the first.” Or something like that, but this time with the block. Let’s start with Rocket.
Rocket goes with Full Curls (10 IC) after which we farmer carry both blocks to other end of parking lot.
Goat opts for Bentover Rows (10 IC) after which we Zamperini one block back to the start.
Banana Peel suggests Block Swings (15 OYO).
As BP is preparing to do the rows, Toxic — who appears to be the most intellectually sound of the group — points out that Goat forgot the curls. Dang, you’re right. Let’s do a late penalty of 5 burpees.
Banana Peel finishes with Rows (10 IC) and Curls (10 IC). Mosey back to other end.
Toxic is apparently full of energy since he missed the first 5 minutes of the workout so he chooses to do Block Webbs. Are you kidding me? A Merican on the block followed by 4 block presses. Increase mericans by one each time and presses by four, wrapping up with 5 mericans and 20 presses.
And so we do the Block Webbs. We follow that with 5 Burpees (because Toxic doesn’t want to do Block Swings so he forgets “on purpose”). Then we continue with Bentover Rows (10 IC) and Full Curls (10 IC). And then we Zamperini back the beginning.
YHC is last where we use the block for Muhammad Ali (15 IC) followed by — yes — Block Webbs (1/4 to 5/20), Block Swings (15 OYO), Bentover Row (10 IC) and Full Curl (10 IC).
Whew! Put the blocks back and mosey back to cars for some MARY. But first, since Toxic is so smart (or is it that he’s a smart ass with the Block Webbs?) he gets to call one more round of the complete set of exercises from the original loop.
And so we do Mericans (10 IC), Air Squats (10 IC), DIps (15 IC), CDD (10 IC) and Monkey Humpers (10 IC).
We considered penalizing him for doing the Humpers out of order, but really no one wanted to do more burpees. With 5 minutes left, we considered ending the workout Denver-style, but instead got on our six for some ab work.
- YHC led with Flutter Kick (25 IC).
- Rocket followed with Mason Twist (15 IC).
- Gnarly Goat channeled Amen with J-Lo (10 IC).
- Banana Peel felt froggy and led Pretzel Crunch (15 IC) on each side.
Hey! It’s 0800. Let’s recover before Toxic opts to call something ridiculous like Blastoff Mericans or Donky Kick Burpees. (He claims he was going to do Suzanne Somers leg lifts. Yeah, right.) We wrapped up Metro style by sitting for name-o-rama and announcements, then stood for a short prayer reminding us of Jesus’ ultimate sacrifice on this holiest of weekends and focusing on accepting our own struggles and sacrifices with humility and dignity in rememberance of Christ’s model.
YHC would like to wish everyone a very Happy Easter. Enjoy the ham, the Peeps and the Reese’s peanut butter eggs. If you’re like me and have not had caffeine in six weeks, especially enjoy the coffee. But most of all, if you’re a Christian, enjoy your salvation that came with a most precious sacrifice. To God be the Glory! Alleluia!