The Vern, a FKT staple Returned to the fridged tundra known as
The Birkdale Commons. Given the opportunity to lead, by our fearless leaders DonHo And Frodo, I thought it was a great opportunity to spice things up a little bit. So I channeled my inner Kozar and put on my Mr. Holland thinking cap. I thought to myself, “self, how could we make the Vern more FKT-like?” My inner dialogue response: “add Burpee’s, no breaks, and no warm-ups.”
So the plan was hatched. There was no turning back. A pre-blast was posted to try to lure those wanting pain.
The Morning began with Me pulling into the parking lot at 5:10 Am. Through the fog I could see three girlish figures starting to jog the standard. As I got closer, I realized they were not girls just fit and fast runners , DonHo, Frodo, and Enron.
I then parked waiting for the crowd of PAX to join me for the super exciting New 15 minute abdominal/core standard. There was a crowd of one, Cherry Bomb. So me and the Bomb proceeded to do 15 minutes of Core. There was a lot of grunting during the core work out when Popcorn and his FNG showed up midway through. Popcorn appeared embarrassed to have his FNG watch this sorry abdominal fiasco. Popcorn did state that it look like we were doing a pure barre class. So Popcorn, not wanting to scare the new guy, removed his FNG from the premises and they did a few laps around the parking lot
As we approach 530, the crew arrived. 12 deep ready to roll. Well, except for SwingState who came in late and looking a little rough. On a later part of the work out while jogging he told me he stopped working at 1:30 AM and only showed up because he was too lazy to turn his alarm clock off when it went off. Yeah I don’t get it either but it makes him more manly than me who was in bed by 8 PM last night.
AnyWho, I then gave everyone the bad news, We will be changing a few exercises on the Vern. The Jobe version would be 1 mile run to the pull up bars followed by 10 pull ups, 10 Burpee’s, 25 mericans, and 30 mountain climbers. All while performing the standard Vern loops. The goal was to finish five rounds and then make the 1 mile Trek back to freedom.
After the dust settled and as time required, only 5/12 finished all 5 of the Vern’s vicious circles. But all 12 who dared to take the challenge left pretty much everything on the blacktop. Right before doing our counts Swingstate invited all to perform some low back love and I was able to catch that moment in a beautiful picture. Some might say the crew looked like a beached synchronized swimming team put together by Zeus himself.
Probably most importantly to end the session, a new PAX was named. Welcome to the crew HotBox. I hope you continue to come out and send us down awesome paths filled with tons of Burpee’s.
Way to earn the sunrise gents!
Some final thoughts:
- Spellcheck and Tugs keep coming out to some of the toughest workouts. I love it, keep crushing it.
- Don Ho and Frodo just absolutely dominate me. It’s infuriating how much superior they are at these workouts than me. Thanks for showing me, as Goggins would call it, my inner B@*ch. I’m super jelly of your fitness.
- Cherry bomb make sure to send your wife selfies of your abs after that fantastic ab standard. Just make sure to ask for pics back. I hear that’s what all the young kids are doing.
- Swingstate, get some sleep. Do I need to impose a lights out time? I do not appreciate getting lapped by a guy that’s only had three hours of sleep.
- Ramrod seemed to smile throughout the whole workout…made me wanna add on more burpees but I didn’t want to get into a Jobe-ing situation of me puking in the bushes.
- Turncoat is fast. That is all.
- Is Enron going to become an FKT staple? He’s posting more and more. I think I heard he wants to Q?
As always I leave you with…
LFG!
Jobe