''Twas a clear, well it actually was pretty cloudy and kinda rainy, but nevertheless no less than 3 guys went running, here is their story:
0430 – snooze
0440 – snooze again, it's not worth it
0445 – the patented kidney kick and I'm up
0456 – drive aggressively around Morgan Freeman in a silver Tacoma who obviously didn't care if Miss Daisey was late for her run
0459 – YHC emerges victorious from thou truck to bask in the glory of being first to the workout, which brings up another point, it's always best to be first. Always. That way, you can be looking at your watch all Lumburg style and when people show up you just take off. They immediately think oh, well I guess I should follow this guy. Infact that may be the key to leadership, show up early, look super judgy, then take off as fast as you can. The other guys won't know what hit them, and if you are fast enough, they will spend the whole time focusing on breathing and not overthrowing your rule.
If you aren't fast just don't tell them where they are going. If you can confuse them with random turns, most of the nice ones will just hang around to see what you do next. The snobbish ones, who get frustrated, don't have the mental fortitude to do what it takes anyway. Let those guys go join a BBC or CG or whatever they do to burn off those pesky ginger beer calories.
I digress, I was first, I get to pick what we do so I take off at a blistering 10min pace downhill, and here comes pork chop, honking and waving and screeching tires and we collectively say, meh, who cares, let's roll. But being the leader of the workout, the master Q of halflife, and overall a very caring individual, I said NO to that and we pulled a Barry Gibb and went back to pick up pork chop….and in doin so we found that BEP was waiting for him anyway. Oh well, the point of the story is sometimes you have to do like the BeeGees said and Turn, Turn, Turn. This morning was a season to turn, turn, turn.
Freepass and Gentlemen, I am telling you, there is a pork chop in each of your lives. For us, our pork chop is a scared little bunny. Sure he has been out in the wilderness and he has seen much of what this world has to offer, but he believes his little wilderness journeys are over, he is mistaken. There is a time to be born, and a time to die, pork chop isn't dead yet, so we can't leave him behind, and we can't leave him at the coffee shop where we found him. We must take him with us, for he is our little fuzzy spirit animal. And when we got later into the run this morning, and pork chop was nowhere to be found, I was not worried, because BEP reached down deep and found the same exact amount of quit he needed to match pork chop. BEP is a damn hero!
When we all returned to Main St. Ole pork chop was sitting there hat in hand, waiting to buy us all coffee. Like a good little late bunny should. He is not a quitter, he is not too old to do hard things, he is a beast of a man waiting to pounce on the next opportunity for greatness. And for that we shall plant, because as the late great Barry gibb said, one day there will be a time to reap. That day is June 6th. Lastly, don't be afraid to share this gift, there is a pork chop praying for it right now, go back and get him.
argh!