It was the best of workouts, it was the worst of workouts, it was the rep count of wisdom, it was the rep count of foolishness, it was the fitness of belief, it was the fitness of incredulity, it was the fellowship of light, it was the fellowship of darkness, it was the spring of faith, it was the winter of despair.
The first ever 1,000 x 8 workout, now christened "Octopussy" (© Boar Hog, All Rights Reserved) was attempted and achieved in roughly the time allotted (we couldn't be sure since the Q forgot his watch and the two other watches in attendance stopped working, presumably in protest).
- 8 Exercises
- 1,000 Repetitions
- 2 Miles of Running
- Start at the 10 yard line with a rock.
- Do 10 reps (5 in cadence).
- Run to opposite 10 yard line and back.
- Carry rock forward to 20 yard line.
- Do 20 reps.
- Run to opposite 20 yard line and back.
- Repeat for 30 and 40 yard lines.
- At 50 yard line, do 25 reps (to get 125 reps total).
- Return to 10 yard line for next exercise.
Today's Octopussy was brought to you by Jersey Boy and made possible by contributions from pax like you along with a grant from the following exercises:
- Merkins
- WWII Situps
- Full Curls
- Bent-Over Rows
- Skull Crushers
- Rock Swings
- Shoulder Presses
- Little Baby Crunches
It starts off so easy: 10 reps. . .20 reps. . .piece of cake, but just when you thought it was safe to get back in the water, Octopussy rises from the depths to humble and humiliate you like an over-eager harpooner on board the futuristic submarine of a vengeful genius captain.
The peak (acme, apex, epitome, climax, apogee, zenith, summit—check with Moses for his latest preference) of the workout is the 40 yard line since the reps drop to 25 at the 50 yard line, at which time you have completed 125 consecutive repetitions with only a few breaks for running.
The theme of this particular Octopussy was "No squats. No burpees" but future renditions could include just about anything, so you'll have to get on deck of the Nautilus if you want to fight the giant octopus next time (yes, I know it was a squid, but give me some latitude).
Moses and Waffle House had a heated partisan squabble over how many yards were being covered during the running portion of each exercise, but a rare willingness to reach across the aisle enabled these two experience nerdislators (nerdy legislators) to find common ground and the correct answer: 400 yards (plus the 40 yards back to the beginning). They forgot about the extra 10 yards gained every time we carry the rocks forward, but we'll save that for the next leglislative session.
The barista-from-another-sista took a few of our Starbucks in exchange for some steaming cups of joe (and one steaming cup of oatmeal for Moses). YHC chose instead to enrich the pedophile clown at the golden arches, but we all met in the coldest, loudest, most inhospitable place we could possibly find in order to share inappropriate jokes and uncover the answers to life's most pressing questions, such as "Which is better: 48 Hours or Lethal Weapon?"
Thanks to the Bailey Road Regulars who made Octopussy more than just a funny name to snicker at (it is that, of course, but it's not ONLY that). The fellowship was robust and the mumblechatter lively. Also, we snuck in some exercise.