As mentioned on Slack, due to my now upcoming trial on human trafficking and kidnapping charges my attorney advised against documenting a backblast but the bond of brotherhood is greater than my fear of incarceration. YHC would like to thank Lear who once again proved to be a dedicated co-cadre, To the boys who participated, you've worked hard and trained hard for your upcoming Heavy and we are damn proud of you.
The objective of today was more about mental preparation than physical since over the 24 hour stretch of your Heavy there will be long periods where you'll have to keep the ugly demons of negatvity out of your head and appreciate the moment you're in – not for the patch and t-shirt (though if you can make sure you grab me a t-shirt) but to know that when real life throws real challenges your way you'll face them with Faith and strength.
So let's talk about weird…..
We started by having the boys remove their shoes, YHC filled them with stones and had them put their shoes back on the opposite feet. Whole idea was to be uncomfortable and deal with it. Pax was instructed to ruck trot with sandbags to the fountain about half a mile away. Fountains make for happy places. What could possibly go wrong.
Once there the Pax got into the fountain, about thigh deep. As compared to other stagnant bodies of water we've basted in this one showed no indication of dysentery, bacterial meningitis or goose poop. FLG led the pax in an endless count of ruck dunks (dunk the ruck, ruck overhead – repeato until something sh*ts-the-bed). While ruck dunking, YHC made sure to blasted each man in the face repeatedly with a strobe light for added comfort. After the Pax elephant walked around the perimter of the fountain twice. Rent-a-cop then led the Pax (in the fountain) in 50 DC seal claps (front) then 50 DC seal claps (overhead). Repeato on the elephant walk. Finally pax was challenged with 20 ruck dunks in 2 minutes to avoid 50 more. They suceeded.
..Now the pax regrouped, donned their sandbags and we made our way towards the front field of the YMCA. Here's where it got dicey…
Sticking with the theme of mental discomfort and team work the pax split into two pairs of two…partners laid face down on the ground, rucks on – partner on the left had his right wrist zip-tied to partner's writst on right. His right ankle zip tied to his partners ankle. The men were blindfolded. Objective was to push their sandbag across the field.
As, the four men lay faced down, zip-tied together – and Lear was finishing the last blindfold (Note: Important to note Lear also had his handgun on his hip for this scene.)….YHC hears from behind…."So, what's going on here?"…turning to find two of Mooresville PD's finest striking a curious pose. Thankfully, Lear forgot to bring his ball gags this time.
Officer 1 was genuinely interested. Offer 2 who had no lines was befuddled.
Line of the day: Comet (laying face down, zip tied and blindfolded) – "Officer, you're aware of our situation, right?"
As the pax set on their mission, YHC did his best to EH the officers while convincing them a citation was unnecessary (Apparently they were called by some who lives near the fountain reporting a "ruckus"). At one point Officer 1 stated: "Wait, you're the guys who did the 5K downtown, you had an American Flag and one guy was carrying a big, a big -"
Cupcake: "A log?….Yeah that was us."
The pax pushed their bags around the field and in diametrically opposed directions then were given the task of finding each other. Once completed we moved on to the next round….oh yeah…we removed the blindfolds and zip ties.
One pair ran around the track at the Y with their sandbags while the other pair did bicycles (feet-to-feet) while pressing their rucks until the other pair returned. Pairs switched and repeated.
After the boys did three rounds of wheelbarrows with the third round partner behind wore both rucks.
….we then added a cool down exercise and the boys simply ran a mile around the track at a leisurely 10 min pace.
….on to the big finale….
The pax simply had to stand with rucks overhead.
Oh wait…one more thing, they were given the option of being zapped with electricty while rucking overhead (I read the Enhanced Interrogation guidelines – it's not torture if they willingly choose to participate). Of course – and predictably – Finger Lickin Good and Chicken Little said "Yes" faster than you could slap a tic.
YHC positioned the TENS pads to their necks/traps as requested and turned up the juice. Note: YHC tested the equipment himself in his kitchen the night before and got up to "50" on the meter before becoming incontinent.
When we got around "20" Chicken Little started making noises like Ron Jeremy the 70's porn star yodeling. At 30 and 40 it sounded like a Stormy Daniels interview by 50 it was "clean up on aisle 2".
FLG was fine until about 45-50 when his face started spasming and he started screaming. There was a feint aroma of singed hair in the air. I wish someone had a camera.
So that's how we finished….another noble, refined effort with purpose.
Prayers for all the F3 guys doing the Heavy – proud of their effort just to train for it. Now let's crush this CAMO 5K and recoup some goodwill with the MPD – never know when we'll have to cash in a chit.