Perhaps the Greatest FNG NickName Ever Assigned


YHC sent out a pre-blast last night, notifying the PAX that a celebrity would lead Fission in the gloom.  YHC's love of Duck Dynasty, especially Uncle Si, was part of the motivation, especially when it was secretly revealed that Uncle Si and Phil Roberson were in a nearby swamp over the weekend and needed a little exercise before heading back to Louisiana.

SwingState pulled into the HT parking lot and riding shotgun was an 18 year old FNG with aspirations of joining the Navy in the near future.  The age difference between our youngest PAX and oldest PAX in attendance was a staggering 52 years, just confirming that F3 workouts are appropriate at any age.

After a brief disclaimer, the PAX moseyed to the back of the Harris Teeter parking lot where a rigorous Warm-A-Rama was performed with the standard set of exercised.  Already carrying a chip on his shoulder, YHC decided 75 SSH's IC were needed to get the PAX warmed up.

From there we made a slow mosey up the hill, stopping along the way in plank position to ensure no man was left behind. T-claps to everyone who kept an eye on the six! (SwingState, Jersey and Blackbeard from what I could tell)

When we arrived at the steps of Mt. Zion Church, YHC's anger was in full force as he remembered his M's 5 lb Yorkie took a leak on their brand new carpet the night before.  Oh was YHC pissed off but had the perfect outlet at Mt. Zion Church in the form of a "Come to Jesus" meeting.  After a few Rocky Balboa's and decline merkins, PAX were arranged in two perfect rows, 5 in front, 5 in back.  PAX were ordered to alphabetize the rows by the first initial of their F3 name in 30 seconds otherwise a 10 burpee penalty would be applied.  The PAX took 30.5 seconds so unfortunately paid the penalty but are better for it.

From there, Merkins, WWII situps, and Squats would be performed at each corner of the large grassy field in front of Mt Zion starting with 10 merkins at the first corner, 10 merkins and 10 WWII's at the second corner, and 10 merkins,10 WWII's, and 10 squats at the final corner.  This was continually perfomed for 10 minutes or so, a timed event.

Mosey back to Harris Teeter with a few stops along the way to ensure no man was left behind, stopping on the railroad tracks to perform some Wiley Coyote's and dips on the tracks.

Recover Recover was called at 6:15am.

Moleskin 

  • Always great having an FNG, especially an 18 year old young man with military career aspirations…thanks for bringing this fine young man SwingState!
  • After a very entertaining naming ceremony, it was determined our FNG would be named "Full Metal Jacket", a name given for a misunderstanding of what the letters in FNG were but equally as important was his love of video games and air soft guns.
  • Blackbeard looking very different after removing his beard for this occasion – check out the hilarious twitter photoshopped pics of him tweeted by Goat and Popcorn….HAHAHAHAHHA
  • So cool seeing Bijioux back after knee issues, riding his bike along the way – Great work brother
  • Bel Air continues to be in beast mode with his consistency. 70 years old never looked so good! 
  • Cousin Eddie like clock work did the standard ahead of time – he's a running machine!
  • Jersey Boy, Travolta, and Slice kicked butt this morning as did everyone on this fine morning.
  • Awesome coffeeteria discussion as always with Blackbeard, Bel-Air, YHC and JB 
  • Thank you Bijioux for taking us out in prayer!

I'm always honored and consider it a privilege to lead in the gloom, especially the 9 other men who appeared in the gloom this morning.  You guys rock!

Humbly in Christ

Possum