**Before I get into the deets on what a kick a$$ event we had, I know there are several PAX missing off the list. The Hickory guys and the Shelby guys and a Clydesdale from TN. They were neck deep in the blood and guts with us and were great teammates.**
Also, when I refer to the Cadre they aren't real Cadre as in Special Forces Cadre, they were just Cadre for this evening, no disrespect meant.
It was a balmy Friday night and 34 men decided they'd test their mettle in what is arguably the biggest CSAUP event in F3. This event held annually, ahead of a major custom GORUCK Heavy event, is an opportunity for the men participating to test their training and come together as a team, real world style.
The mumblechatter had been high on Slack, the week leading up (mostly by Jolly and Dallas) as to how the evening would unfold. In the parking lot beforehand, there were fistbumps, the nerves, (do I have everything on the checklist, crap I don't, I need wet wipes), the butterflies, the banter, shadows showing up to heckle and do shadowy things.
Then DonHo ATL called for formation. The butterflies, little to no chatter, (crap it's about to kick off). One of the instructions from the Cadre was to get into ranks by shortest to tallest, DonHo called out instructions and the PAX manuevered.
The admin phase/gear check was about to commence, but little did the PAX know the Cadre had another surprise for them. The Cadre all wore Ranger Panties (silkies, banana hammocks, etc.). This caused some mumblechatter amongst the PAX as the night time got lit up by some really white pasty legs. The intimidation factor at zero now, Jedi channeling his inner Asian didn't seem so scary. We ended up with 10 8 count body builders for infractions. Not bad considering the pastiness of the Cadre's legs and the propensity of failure in this evolution.
ABOUT FACE! Cadre TBC had his handy dandy bluetooth out and ordered us to commence with SSH to the classic rock soundings of Thunderstruck by AC/DC. The caveat was everytime we heard 'Thunderstruck' we had to do a burpee, and continue with SSH. YHC wants to personally thank TBC for ruining that song , and I'm sure alot of other PAX feel the same way too. **Intimidation factor creeping up,despite white pasty legs.**
What happened next is a little blurry but it was the WWP- Winnebago Welcome Party or #KITD. A shark attack of exercises from flutter kicks, to Ruck OH, to tandem Ruck OH, to pass your Ruck to the right Mason Twist, that is now your Ruck, Ruck merkins, and a special Ruck OH to 2x merkins to Ruck thruster combo I can't even explain. I can't decide what was worse Cadre Winnebago's demonstrations of the exercises in Ranger Panties or the exercises themselves. Given the choice I'd choose the exercises. Approximately 160 reps of everything aforementioned were done. Teams were created, Tunnel of Love commenced, Team 1 beat Team 2 in that easily (YHC team) then the Human Centipede where Team 1 also beat Team 2 easily.
Now onto the fun…..
To the uninitiated GORUCK/QRV6 events are designed to test your physical as well as your mental abilities all the while bringing together a group of men to function as a Team. The idea, give the team missions/scenarios with somewhat unrealistic time hacks under extreme weight to bring the Team together. We were told from the beginning that by the end of the event we'd be a Team and we'd need to focus on the fundamentals. Despite a poor choice of shorts for cold weather, the Cadre didn't disappoint.
Mission 1:
Make the Winfield Basketball Court to retrieve the Charges. One thing: Carry a lot of heavy crap and do it in 16 minutes. So we formed up, divvyed up the coupons and made our way to the AO. Oh and Team 1 vs Team 2 in a race.
It was approximately 1.5 miles to the AO and since we were in combat conditions we couldn't talk. A few short minutes later The Count took a fall twisting his ankle. Once assesed he was able to continue on (T-claps btw) and we made our way to Winfield. All in all the team performed excellent being our first time together, the vets knew where to post road guards, just getting the cadence of coupons exchange down can be tricky during first time road marches and keeping up with Jolly. Team 1 also won that, but in the spirit of "Team" when the Cadre asked who won Team 1 answered 'we all did, Cadre.' We still got punished with Ruck merkins. All of us.
After the Ruck merkins (Winfield Basketball Court): Formed 2 lines then told to move around to the sand pit. We lined up in the sand pit, backs to each other and told to sit. We were told by Cadre Dallas to hang and fire our mortars. This entailed us grabbing as much sand in our hands as we could and then tossing it backwards over our heads attempting to cover the other team in sand. This was also our Team reward for winning.
We circled up on the Cadre and got the details of what our next mission will be.
Cadre Jedi congratulated us for making it through the Welcome Party and now that we had done that we would need to use extreme focus and team work to complete our tasks. 'Attention to detail, Gentlemen.' He proceeded to tell us about Cayute #fretwell who was a Warlord in the area and over the next few hours our Missions would be to retrieve items that would sabotage his operations. **It should be noted that the Cadre were now out of their Ranger Panties sipping coffee and there seemed to be some mention of eating bacon. All things GRT's want to see and hear covered in sand.**
PopTart TL Don Ho ATL were fired and new leadership were hired.
Our mission, get the Richard Berry Park. YHC being TL and not familiar with the area delegated navigational duties to Jolly and designated Ramrod as ATL. Cadre Hall Monitor wanted our team name, so in honor of Cadre Dallas' androgenous college freshmen Halloween picture (posted on Slack earlier in the week by Jolly) YHC blurted out, Team Shirley Temple.
Given our time hack, Jolly leading the way we proceeded out. 2 lines in combat conditions with no talking we were led to a path then to a creek crossing where Cadre Hall Monitor yelled out, 'Your route is compromised, everyone in the creek.' We lined up in the creek and a series of questions about our mission were asked. Our punishment was OH squats in the creek, not impressed with our ability to squat, we repeato the exercise. Still not impressed with the answers and exercises, we were told to hydro burpee.
This was a good learning lesson for YHC as TL, the attention to detail part, communication to the team. Because I didn't communicate the instructions to the team and the reason, we got punished for it.
After the Cadre had some good chuckles at our expense being cold and wet we were told to file out and head back to the basketball court and retrieve coupons and charges and await instructions. During our march back, The Count, who had been toughing it out on a rolled ankle decided to call it a night. T-claps again for his ability to endure it that long. So our number of men went to 33.
Once all the coupons and charges were retrieved we were told we needed to meet a time hack to get back to the DZ (drop zone) with all the coupons and new weight that were charges. Back to the school, we missed the time hack but got everyone and everything back to the DZ safely.
We were given a rest and an opportunity to hydrate and feed. At this point Cadre TBC and Cadre Jedi gave Ramrod and I a choice, take punishment now for missing the time hack or double down for possible double punishment. We chose the double down and then we got fired.
Mission 2: Retrieve the Radio from the Home Depot Tower
TL Finger Lickin' Good and FNG Ben ATL were hired to take over the leadership positions and did a great job getting the team together, delegating, and keeping us moving towards the next objective. We had 25 minutes to get from the DZ to Whole Foods, which meant we Ruck Ran most of the 2.5 miles behind the lead of our Nantan setting a 7 minute mile pace. Once at Whole Foods, Cadre let us know we beat our time hack by 45 seconds. This was good news for YHC since it was my decision to double down on punishment from the last time hack. Cadre TBC gave us some feedback saying that the TL and ATL did a good job getting a system in place of delegation, executing road guard duty smoothly, and not getting too spread out. This allowed us to beat the time hack.
Our next movement was thru the creek and culverts that ran under 77. The team moved well together despite the terrain and creek crossings. Cadre Jedi was able to capture some cool pictures of the team under red headlamps moving through the tunnels to the radio tower. Once we got to the tower, and secured the radio, we didn't escape totally unscathed as the Time Bomb Merkin was proposed with Ruck, after 5 rounds the team was told to recover and return from whence they came.
Cadre Jedi and Cadre TBC did a quick debrief on TL/ATL performance it was determined they were awesome, delegated duties properly, communicated, and kept the group moving and together even over creek crossings. Extra credit was given for counting which can be hit or miss given the homestate of the TL.
TL FLG and ATL Ben were fired and TL Blackberry and ATL Red October were hired.
Movement back through the creeks and culverts went smoothly as the team was familiar with the terrain and was rewarded with a break to ring out socks and get sand out of shoes. Once the team had a chance to shake out a little, hydrate, and eat we formed up and proceeded to Ruck Run back to the DZ. The pace was blistering. This can be good, but also bad if the team gets too spread out and that's exactly what happened. PAX got killed off by the Cadre and after a brief educational lesson in the form of flutter kicks issued by Cadre TBC, TL and ATL rallied the troops assigned two additional ATLs to help keep everyone together and finished our Ruck Run back to the DZ. The team performed well and stayed together to avoid any further casualties and re-education.
There seemed to be a lot of mumblechatter about how bad Ruck Running sucks, but mostly post event on Slack about whether or not it was a good idea to let Jolly carry the flag and set the pace at 7 minutes per mile. I just know Ruck Running does suck no matter who is setting the pace. However, the lesson learned, as the Cadre told us in the beginning was to 'stay together' because it sucks a whole lot more with casualties. We learned that later.
Once back to the DZ Cadre did a quick debrief on TL/ATL performance, final determination: Ruck Running sucks. In all seriousness, Blackberry and Red October did a great job. Especially after we acquired casualties. In GORUCK events, the Team will experience set backs, but it's how the team rallies with direction from leadership that will truly gel the group together, and they rallyed us.
TL Blackberry ATL Red October fired TL Auto ATL Steam Engine hired
Mission 3:
Detonate Cayute's bridge and return with his artillery/munitions
With Auto and Steam Engine (great F3 name btw, reason not so great) as leaders we set out on a Ruck march through the neighborhood, carrying only the detonator (we acquired earlier in the night) and some sand bags. We also had some weird tire tube with pointy ends that was oddly uncomfortable. Our destination was a bridge near the golf course across from Birkdale Village. Again, under combat conditions and no talking since we were in the wee hours of the morning we managed our way to the small soccer field. At this point we were split into two teams for Bear Crawl races. 3 were chosen from each team, I can't remember who was on each team, but that Rent A Cop was on mine and I've seen how lightning quick he is Bear Crawling so my $$ was on winning this dog and pony show. Then the biggest Blue Falcon of the night (other than Q-berts Ruck) happened when Silver Bullet pretended to be a Cadre and stopped the progress of Cop and our team. Good news is that Silver Bullet didn't know Cop's speed and he still won. The team as whole didn't. We ALL ended having to do Bear Crawls, but Bear Crawls with Ruck drag.
YHC blacked out briefly during that evolution but remember thinking the Huntersville PD might open an investigation because it looked like bodies were dragged across the field.
The next evolution or fun game was at the monkey bars. The objective: Get all 33 Rucks across the monkey bars without dropping one. Drop one and you start all over. So six of us created an assembly line, Using Go Green Go's idea, and we moved all the Rucks across the monkey bars. Again, the Cadre goal was for the team to formulate a plan and execute it. Q-bert's Ruck being a few beers lighter was still the worst one to handle, but the task got done.
Now I should mention there was some debate or #fakenews by the Cadre that the flag touched the ground. YHC is of the opinion, if no one saw it, it didn't happen. However, that being said, is a good learning lesson for GORUCK events. DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES LET THE FLAG TOUCH THE GROUND. As Cadre Winnebago said, "Just ask the Charleston Heavy participants what happens." Apparently there is a Hell.
So we were told to form up, grab the detonators and artillery (aka logs) and make our way back to the DZ. On the way back we successfully detonated the bridge and cut-off Cayute's method of pursuit. The Ruck march with coupons back to the DZ was under weight now with additional logs. Auto and Steam Engine did a great job rotating people on coupons, PAX did a great job getting teams together to rotate logs and coupons. Not to be outdone, the Cadre decided to start killing PAX. YHC and a few others were killed, DonHo did great carrying, it sucks to be carried as much as it sucks carrrying, Chicken Little, FLG, and Ziploc had the Clydesdale from TN, Cop had someone, Jolly actually gave up the flag to carry Silver Bullet, it was messy. We didn't make our time hack. Go figure.
Since we didn't make our time hack, we lined up for PT test. The APFT or some PT test is administered during a Heavy, the standard for this was 55 p/u 2 min 65 sit ups 2 min 2 mile timed run (typically 8 min or less). So we lined up facing each other and dropped in the p/u position, 2 minutes later, on our sixes for the sit ups. Now onto the 1 mile timed run, Cadre TBC sent us off in groups of two right around the corner to Jedi who patched us. The event ain't over till your patched. ENDEX.
RECOVER RECOVER. Naming of two FNGs-
Stormy aka Porn 'Stache and Toto
Disclaimer: When YHC was volun-told to write this, I wrote it based on what I remember happening. If I missed something sorry/not sorry.
Funny notable things and T-clap honorable mentions: Probably should have been just the backblast-
T-claps to Jedi, Two Buck, Hall Monitor, Bago and Dallas for the time and thought put into the event. And anyone behind the scenes unmentioned.
- The Count- major T-claps on hanging in there to the last minute, but more so for the coffee at the end.
- Cadre in Ranger Panties- so much pastiness
- Bago's pickle exposure- nope
- Chicken Little's insane PT results and no train first time Ruck event
- FLG and his meth I mean math skills and counting off
- Cop's ability to keep his pants dry
- Q-bert and his Ruck, not to mention crushing beers throughout the entire event
- Jedi channeling his inner Asian
- Porn 'Stache- yep
- Rando lady on the way to Winfield on her porch trashed
- The Shadows weren't Shadowy enough and lazy
- Shout out to Toyota, Official Truck of the Quarter Ruck and Calypso for being a Shadowy Cadre
- Turn your headlamp off when Jolly is trying to cheat
- Being carried sucks and so does carrying.
- Human centipede is awful
The Take-aways: #RealTalk- as a whole and personal from the event:
- Attention to Detail and Fundamentals- the Cadre harped on that all night long and they got us a few times as a team not paying attention. From beginning to end, end especially because you're tired and everything sucks. You and your team will be better off for it.
- Stay in the Game- The exercises, the PT, the Rucking with coupons, it only lasts a while. Stay in the game, stay busy, and you'll stay out of your head.
- Teammate- This is my 2nd QR event and last year I was 'that' guy on the flag. I told myself I'd not be that guy ever again. Will yourself to be a good teammate, your Brothers will appreciate it. It's not about you. See #2.
- Have fun, yes it sucks. But have fun, make jokes, laugh at yourself and your Brothers, this whole thing is just stupid. Those memories and times are what bond us as friends and make for funny Slack convo.
- Finish/Endex- I've heard Winnebago say several times, 'See yourself finishing.' That's powerful. We don't do this because it's easy, if it were easy, we'd find some other ridiculously stupid thing to do.
Again, these are my personal takeaways, you choose your own adventure on what you get out of the events. I look forward to going to battle May 18th with each and every one of you. I found the quote below hit home for me as it touches a qualities that I feel F3 brings in my life and relevant for the Heavy.
'I go to work everyday with people smarter than me, who are better at what they do than me, I go to the gym everyday and workout with people stronger and faster than me. I spend my spare time with friends and family that whose values and quality of character I aspire to reflect. For all those reasons, I get a little better every day.'
That is all-
Comet out.