FNG-1=Zaire
Prelude:
I went to bed early enough last night so that I would be plenty spry to take on the Gnarliest of Goats at this much-anticipated QvQ championship. Little did I know that I would be laying alert for a couple more hours contemplating some last minute adjustments to my plan. Further, my conscience awakened me 30 minutes earlier than what my alarm was set for as my mind meandered in a kerfluffle of conflicting ideas. So, it doesn't have to be said, my sleep tank was running on empty…not a great way to begin an important day. I knew that I was up against the greatest adversary of all times, and I had to bring my A-Game. There was a lot riding on this victory (a sheet of paper with my name written one more time). At 0500, there ceased to be any more time to set up or consider other options. The standard was ON! 10 decided to post early for the standard regardless of the very-random, extremely-specific rainstorm that blew through the Northern reaches of Mecklenburg county (I checked the radar. There was not another single drop of rain in all of NC, SC or VA). Luckily, the rain moseyed on and we only got wet from left-behind puddles and residual leaf drips. As we rounded the last curve up the driveway to GCC, I could see there was already a crowd formed and getting warm fuzzies from the greatest Q adversary I was ever up against. He was wearing his CFD shirt to appease the crowd (I knew I should have worn mine, darn it).
I knew I needed to throw Goat off his game a little: I remembered rumor of his only fear from an old tale told about geese skirmishes and battle wounds (perhaps emotional) at this very location. So, I hurried to my car before our competition began and set up my loud bluetooth speaker to play angry geese sounds. It seemed to frazzle him slightly.
At 5:29, as planned, the Charlotte Fire Department official coin was flipped to see which of us would go first. And, we were to follow the timed plan as outlined in the preblast by Turncoat. These were the agreed-upon conditions set forth the day before on slack, or twitter, or text, or something official like that. There was some confusion as to which side of the coin was heads. After that was ironed out, Goat gave me calling rights. I called heads, and lost (not the start I was hoping for). Goat deferred and I got to take the disclaimer and 2-3 minute warm up.
9-Lives (warm-up)
Run over to another spot…I don't know why…we could have just stayed there…I was nervous…the pax were already restless…HIGH KNEES (if you want to, you don't really have to if you don't want to), BUTT KICKERS, BACKWARDS RUN, OVAL UP: Mericans, Squats, Windmills, BLEAT
Gnarly Goat (10 min.)
Mosey to pull-up forest. But before that, Goat reminisces about his first post and Primo's introducing him to bunny hops. Which, as it turns out, is actually a frog hop when the Q calls for a "ribbit" to be hollered while hopping. Bunny/Frog hop to the other side of the road, then head to the pull up bars: Underhand Pull Ups x5, Overhand Pull Ups x5, Commando Pull Ups x5, Feet To The Bar x5, Plank while you're waiting.
Head back out to the roadway for some plank work (high plank, elbow plank, 'Mericans) and stretching. "Goat cares about your fitness."
9-Lives (10 min.)
Mosey to the backside of the parking lot and break into groups of 3 along the way. I figured another way to throw Goat off his game was to confront him with his own workout idea. Since I was already up early (as mentioned), I took it upon myself to stash 40 jug-a-lugs at the corner of the lot. I know, low blow, but let's move past that.
ROUND 1: Partner 1 does Alternating Juggy Curls, Partner 2 does Plank Jacks (both in cadence simultaneously), while Partner 3 runs around 2 sets of medians. Repeat 3 times and rotate through all 3 stations.
ROUND 2: Overhead Juggy Presses, Mountain Climbers, Run
ROUND 3: Juggy Squats, Line Hops, Run
It was hastily noticed that I didn't run the first 2 rounds as I stayed back to make sure cadence was called correctly. I don't like to miss out (or disappoint the voting majority), so I gave Ramrod the charge of calling cadence as he came in first place on the 2nd round run…it may have been my swing vote.
Gnarly Goat (10 min.)
Mosey over to the rock pile, but first, a lengendary tale of a goose's tragedy, "A Gnarly Nuisance." I cannot do the memoir justice, so you will have to ask Goat about the melee that happened some years ago at GCC. However, we did get to learn self-defense maneuvers in the unfortunate chance we had a similar autobiography of our own to share in the future. It goes a little like this: A squat/duck. A squat/duck and high pitch squeal. Duck, Squeal, Girl Fight. Duck, Squeal, Girl Fight, Kick. Duck, Squeal, Girl Fight, Kick, Roll. Duck, Squeal, Girl Fight, Kick, Roll, Karate Chop. All of these movements are to be performed within 1/17th of a second when confronted by a goose. This was allegedly the timing that saved our Goat's life. After our instruction and skill demonstration, we were all certified fighting machines for the United States against all feathered enemies from the Canadian North.
When those techniques are ineffective, use "Guns!" Pick up a rock for Suns-Out-Guns-Out Bicep Curls in cadence.
9-Lives (10 min.)
Partner Up and mosey to the parking lot. Push your partner to his end and have him push you back. Pull your partner to his end and have him pull you back. Ride your partner halfway to his end and finish with him on you [insert innuendos here]
Circle up for some full-body movements: Tony Hawk x10ic, Crabbawocky/Jabberwocky/Breakdancer x15ic, Apollo Ono x10ic
Gnarly Goat (MARY)
LBCs, Low Flutter…and some other things…I don't know because I went to my car to get my phone for namorama (and more loud, angry goose sounds *smile*)
MOLESKIN
-Goat's Q was full of creative ideas, good use of the AO, great lore and recollections of past workouts and warrior battles. But, in the end, to the pax, it seems to be all about the good ol' beatdown. Gnarly Goat has always and will always have my greatest respect. He is a true leader and I've learned so much from him over the past few years. I am completely surprised and humbled by this win and all the others up to this point. I am truly honored. Thanks to Turncoat for setting this up and all the pax participation throughout. Can't wait for the next QvQ tournament.
-Great turnout this morning. There seemed to be a lot of pax helping each other out and pushing each other along. That's what it's all about. Unfortunately, with this size group, it's hard for a Q to know all of the interactions or hear all the commentary (probably just tuned them out for the most part). Do us a favor and post some comments on the goings-on of this morning.