Runnin’ and Gunnin’


Twelve men rose early to see their name plastered in the cloud. That’s the #onfleek way of referring to the internet these days. What’s #onfleek you ask?  It’s similar to #lit. What’s that? Oh never mind, it’s not important. What is important is that they were hoping the full moon would bring out the beast mode in my workout, but only time would tell if they got what they had hoped for. Here’s how it all went down, as best I can recall.

Amen wanted to run a standard before hand. Bless his heart as he has proved many a non-runner that they can indeed do more than perambulate (word of the day — look it up). He inspired NINE guys to come out a half hour early and get in just over 2 miles pre-workout. Amen*, Funky Town*, The Force, Nordberg*, Sweet Caroline*, Jock Strap, Frontier*, Wingman* and YHC all took a loop around greater Rosedale. See those asterisks? Those are the guys who have HC’d for the 2017 BRR. I’m told YHC is an HC too, but I’m still wrapping my head around that kind of stupidity.

We returned to the AO with minutes to spare. Speaking of Spare, he must have overslept his alarm for the standard this morning. No problem though as there was running on the menu for the workout too. (Hey, he set the bar last week when we ran laps for a circuit.) And before anyone complains that this is not how the Cauldron is supposed to work, let me point you to this old back blast and remind you that if your panties were in a wad today over the aerobics, you can talk to Sweet C.

The Thang

Appetizer

  • SSH x20 IC
  • Cotton Pickers x15 IC
  • IST x10 IC
  • Burpees x5 OYO (yeah, I can’t believe Sweet C said it either)

Main Course

  • KB curl, 50 OYO (you vs you-at-the-end-of-the-year; will you be better or worse?)
  • run a lap around the lot (seriously Sweet C? But this is Cauldron!)
  • KB skull crusher, 50 OYO 
  • run a lap around the lot (still some fresh legs out here. we’ll fix that)
  • merkins, 50 OYO (disclaimer: better to do them on knees than with ass in air)
  • run a lap around the lot (to their credit, some of the guys began to catch on)
  • KB swing, 50 OYO (wingman either crushed these or called the hand)
  • run a lap around the lot (a reasonable pace now, except for Nordberg & Tweetsie)
  • KB press, 50 OYO (on our backs because, dagnabbit I’m smoked)
  • run a lap around the lot (Olive gets to enjoy me breathing heavy on his back)
  • KB upright row, 50 OYO (pax favorite as we all slowed down to savor them)
  • run a lap around the lot (Amen gets credit for keeping me going; I’m dead)
  • KB goblet squat, 50 OYO (not sure about y’all but I had to do last 20 without bell)
  • run a lap around the lot (SweetC was certain MARY up next. Bad memory I guess)
  • KB lawn mower, 25 each arm OYO
  • run a lap around the lot (I recall Spare ahead of me, why isn’t he standarding?)
  • Flutter kick with bell overhead 25 IC (yeah I said 50 IC. I lied. Suck it.)
  • run a lap around the lot (seriously?! I thought this was MARY)
  • LBC 25 IC (sorry SweetC, but I just cant do it with bell anymore)
  • run a lap around the lot (LOL. Can’t believe these guys are still listening to me)

After Dinner Mint

  • 60 second elbow plank (we missed Ws and another lap. I know you’re upset)
  • Circle up for a quick prayer to get our minds right after the beatdown

Food Critic’s Review

  • I knew I was in it for the long haul when I opened the front door and FunkyTown was waiting on me. #ISI
  • Seriously, 9 guys at the standard comprised of many clydesdales. SweetC draws in a crowd when he preblasts a standard.
  • The plan was for 2.1 miles, but we had to add a lap around the lot while Jockstrap adjusted the velcro straps on his sneakers. Leave no man behind.
  • For those without a tracker, we did about 2.25 miles pre-workout. After the workout was done, I had just over 5 miles on the watch. I’ll let you do the math.
  • I felt like Goldilocks looking for an old workout to copy. I checked Goat’s stuff but there were too many merkins. I skimmed over Grey Ghost’s back blasts, but didn’t think I could lead it. I found SweetCs post and it was just right.
  • Nordberg was at the front on every. single. lap. He is no longer a beginner runner and will be pushing the pace for the Bad News BRRs this year.
  • FunkyTown was not far behind. Working out at LFC has made him a beast. Still, I’m glad he returned to his old stomping grounds for my Q.
  • When we got on our 6 the first time, The Force thought it would be sans bell. Sorry, but we love the bell at Cauldron. I care about your fitness whether you pull for the Tar Heels or the Tigers.
  • Frontier made it though the workout and only hacked up half a lung. Thanks for not quitting on me. Not sure about y’all, but seeing other men overcoming physical obstacles and not quitting is a powerful motivator for YHC.
  • At times Tweetsie was pushing the pace and on others he was supporting his brother. A #HIM knows how to get in a good workout while also encouraging others. T-claps.
  • Speaking of T-claps, Olive lost 5 pounds last week. I’m betting he matches it this week.
  • Someone tell me if I’m deaf, but I think Amen made it through an entire workout without needing TP for dirty shorts.
  • Did I miss anything while catching my breath? Add it to the comments. Thanks for joining me today. Always a fun time with friends.