17 hard-chargers sallied forth on a picture-perfect morning at The Blender for a snot-woggling Q v. Q beatdown involving two varsity-level pain baristas ie Gnarly Goat and Rooter.
Here be the thang (as much as YHC recalls)…
Rooter kicks off with a brief CoP (ssh's, slow deep squats, slow deep Americans, etc, etc) to get the blender warmed up for the concoctions to come. Toss to Gnarly Goat for the first 10 minutes of blending:
Goat 10:
Mosey to the dark and spooky pull-up forest with Frankenstein walks and side-shuffling along the way.
Saddle up on the bars. 5 overhand pull-ups. 5 underhand chin-ups. 5 commando-ups. 5 toes-to-bar.
Repeato.
Toss to Rooter.
Rooter 10:
Oh look, there are big tires in the road.
Form two even lines for a tire-flip relay race (one line behind each tire). First man flips tire twice toward the finish line, then runs back to start line where team is waiting. Entire team does five Americans each time the tire flipper gets back to the start.. Next man runs to tire, flips tire twice toward finish line, then runs back. Five more Americans for entire team. Repeato flips/Americans until tire is crosses the finish line about 50 yards away.
Due to standard F3 pax failure to listen or follow directions, all pax were declared both winner AND loser, so all hands received 10 burpees for losing and 10 Americans for winning.
For second relay race repeat the format coming back, subsituting squats for Americans. This time there appeared to be an actual winning team and losing team, so ten burpees were dispensed to losers, while winners enjoyed ten Americans. Toss back to Goat.
Goat 10:
Mosey back to the previously abandoned kettlebells.
10 x kb curls
10 x kb skull crushers
10 x kb lawnmowers each arm
10 x kb shoulder presses
10 x kb upright rows
Mid-workout mobility moment (pigeons)
kb squat/press medley
kb outfront to Zamperini
Toss to Rooter:
Rooter 10:
Relay race Nr. 2- Set up three equal lines. First man bear crawls approximately 20 yards, does 5 Americans, then bear crawls back. Once he's back entire team does 5 squats and next man commences bear crawl out and back. Losers get 10 burpees, winners get 10 Americans.
Head over to find some curb.
10 x dips w/kb in lap
10 x single-arm kb curls each arm
10 x Rocky Balboa
10 x Muhammad Ali
10 x lawnmowers each arm
Airborne Mindbender
Toss to Gnarly Goat for Mary
low flutter, box-cutters, LBC
FIN
Ye Olde After Action Report:
Historians and scholars have already classified this Q v. Q action as one to be studied throughout the ages.
After WWF-esque Twitter chatter yesterday, Rooter seized the initiative and momentum with a strong CoP containing the Pledge of Allegiance and powerful cadence.
Recalling Sun Tzu's sage advice: "Do not engage an enemy more powerful than you. And if it is unavoidable and you do have to engage, then make sure you engage it on your terms, not on your enemy’s terms” Goat countered by moseying to a battle space (the dark pull-up forest) of his own choosing, thus taking away the wily Rooter's literal and metaphorical center-of-gravity ie the kettlebells. In fact, before the tire relay race Rooter was heard to say, "I was going to use kettlebells for this, but since Goat brought us over here, I'll have to adapt." Would Rooter have resorted to burpees had the kettlebells been available? Did the burpees ultimately lead to his undoing? Scholars will debate this for eternity. Although there can be no doubt that the pax on the scene were none-to-happy about burpess. Still, Gnarly Goat's complete and utter early abandonement of the kettlebells… even at a designated kettlebell workout where the pax had gone out their way to acquire said kettlebells… was a risky and controversial decision that also caused wailing and grinding of teeth. But as John Paul Jones said, "He who will not risk cannot win."
Sensing that it might be an error to completely abandon kettlebells at a kettlebell workout, Goat retreated back to the circle of iron to apply a brief but effective kettlebell flurry. Rooter countered with another competion, which are always pax favorites. Goat countered by offering a midworkout mobility moment. Rooter used the age-old tactic of actually causing pain for the pax (more burpees) so he could then provide the relief (the Airborne Mindbender).
All told, the morning was a strategic and tactical masterpiece by both Q's. One can only surmise that the insurrection caused by burpees is not to be overcome by a too-brief Airborne Mindbender. Lesson learned.
In other news… welcome to FNG Cone Weed! We are glad to have you out! We have some amazingly fast bear crawlers. BZ to all the pax putting in early miles before the Blender. Q v. Q guarantees a snot-woggling workout with many pax! Love it! Sound off if I didn't get your name for the bb and I will add it. Good job to all hands.