If you tag, it's in the bag!
With many Viking regulars OOT, on IR, or enjoying an unplanned Coronacation, Your Humble Q was worried that he might have to tread his path of gloom alone. But soft! What light through yonder parking lot breaks? It is the East and Hippie is the sun!
While waxing poetic to Hippie about the virtues of tagging pax in the preblast, two more taggees arrived: Blackbeard and Soprano. Let it not be said that our boys will fail to heed the clarion call of the desperate last-minute Q!
In our peripherals we caught sight of a lone vehicle taking North Meck Park's vehicular virginity (reset daily, just like with people) and our keen instincts—honed by countless millennia of natural selection and Twinkies—informed us that this must be a wayward pak (singular of pax), so Hippie took the cue (but not the Q, thank Q very much) and rerouted the errant stray to the Christ Community Church lot, whereupon exiting from his vehicle, he was discovered to be. . .tall. Quite tall. I don't know about Moses tall, but up there. In the pre-dawn twilight we couldn't immediately identify him, but his facial features came into sharper focus with every step. Closer and closer he came. The anticipatory excitement was palpable. Finally, he was close enough to identify and suddenly it was obvious to everyone: we had no idea who this was.
Well, let's just say that only one of us did. Blackbeard had invited (read: "taunted") Jock Strap, a multi-year Kotter, and it appears that a little shame goes a long way in the Emotional Headlocking business. Despite his hiatus, Jock Strap hung in there for the workout, which consisted of:
Running around the entire (mostly paved) perimeter of NMP for a total of 2 miles, while stopping to do more difficult variations of old favorites:
- Hand-Clap SSH
- Big-Girl Merkins (elbows close to side)
- Big-Girl Dry Docks (feet and hands close together, head all the way to the ground)
- Folding Card Tables (better than dips but nobody seems to be able to do them properly)
- Squats, Step-Ups, X's and O's,
- Blah blah blah who really reads all this?
Jock Strap led us in the first Mary exercise, reminding us that although he snidely claimed to remember the disclaimer, the inability to properly count cadence is always the first symptom of Kotter Pox. Nevertheless, we made it through to Recover Recover and headed off to the real reason we were all there in the first place: coffeeteria. Although what we really needed was kotterteria because Jock Strap didn't show—claiming some lame excuse like "I'll be fired if I'm late for work" or something. Still, it was good to see a Kotter in the wild and his appearance served as a reminder that we all have a responsibility to tighten the tethers of taunting for our lost brethren. Who can you reach out to today? I've got AOL, Johnny Cash, Space X, Aussie, and Bubbles in my sights.
Bel-Air joined the rest of the crew for fellowship at Starbucks and reminded us all how happy we are not to have three ex-wives (although Bel-Air himself seems to be amused by the whole situation).
- Hippie is donating $1,000 bucks to F3 Foundation if a dozen dedicated dudes show up at his house tomorrow (Wednesday) at 6:00pm for a quick grab-and-haul to his new empty nestination. Look to Twitter @Hippie_F3 for address. I'm up for a beer or a bourbon after if people do that kind of thing anymore.
- If you would like to own 46,000 clear toxic backpacks cheap, please contact Charlotte Mecklenburg School Board. The closer your offer is to $400,000 the better.
Thanks to my brothers for keeping me company this morning, for making the workout fun and fitning (should be a word), and for the always excellent fellowship from warmup to hot coffee.