It was a warm and breezy morning. Nine men appeared in the waning moments before we got things started. They either didn’t realize I was Qing, or they expected a workout with little running. It would take 45 minutes to see which group was most unpleasantly surprised. I admit I have not worked out at this AO in awhile. That streak continues as it turns out we didn’t workout at the AO today either. #SWIDT
We started off with some virtual rope jumping. This gave me time for the disclaimer, “You workout at your own risk. We are not responsible. If at any time you don’t like my instructions, you are free to do burpees instead*.” WIth that out of the way, we moved on to running in place. That’s right, YHC introduced the pax to the revelation that we can do mosey, high knees and butt kickers all without leaving the original circle. No need to run around the parking lot only to wind up where we started from. Efficiency for the win. Following the unorthodox start, we did some SSH, mountain climbers and windmills. The Q should know his audience and this audience may have mutinyed against their pirate captain had I left out the basics. I mean, this isn’t a Jersey Boy workout…
With CoP complete, we moseyed out the back entrance toward the “new” rock pile. Magnus had mentioned a new location in lieu of the creek at the bottom of the hill behind the pavilion. Titan confirmed it. But as we were running, not one other guy knew where we were going. Apparently the pile is so new that no one has used it yet. Glad I had the opportunity to break them in with y’all. We didn’t have a lot of time so we did the basics, 10 each of skull crushers, full curls and air presses. Then we put the shiny, new rocks back. After all, F3 is a running club now — we don’t have time for muscles.
Next up was a joggy-jog along the greenway. I thought the instructions were clear: run to the end and then circle back for the six (aka YHC). As I brought up the rear, I caught up with the pax at the neighborhood entrance like some kind of welcome wagon where I had to keep them on task. Then they stopped at the bridge because apparently they don’t know what “end” means. Then they went to Statesville Rd where the path ends. Third time’s a charm right? Now I see why my namesake kept up with the beatings until morale improved.
At the entrance to the greenway, we did some monkey humpers with posteriors toward the early commuters because that’s what F3 is all about. The MQ suggested pickle pounders too, but there was a guard rail which would have prevented full exposure. Efficiency, remember?
Instead we (carefully) crossed over Statesville Rd to reconvene in the Home Depot parking lot where we did merkins. We did 12 IC because everyone expected YHC to stop at 10. I care about your fitness and I know the workout doesn’t get tough until you go beyond what the mind is expecting. Titan (aka Chatty Kathy) suggested counts better make it into the back blast. You’re welcome, sir.
I had hoped to do some lifting with railroad ties or something but the Depot must have decided to move them indoors. We wouldn’t want a group of hoodlums lifting creosote-covered wood at 0600 and then stcking it back neatly, all without paying for the privilege, right? Instead I thought we could grab a few cinder blocks for some more muscle-building but Waffle House seemed afraid that some of the pax might drop the goods and be stuck with the bill so we had to find other means of good living. Plus Bama was conerned we might not get back in time. Please. 13 minutes is plenty of time. So we did some B2TW and people’s chair with air presses.
At GCC, we chased away the Spearhead crew from pull-up forest. Or was it the Dragon Slayers? It doesn’t matter as they probably won’t read this back blast. Whichever they were, they were evicted from the forest so that the real men of F3 LKN could get in 5 pullups, 10 merkins and 15 squats on “foreign” soil. Then we ran for Hell’s Ascent. The plan was to do a ladder on the hill as well as some partner work on the road to nowhere, but YHC seriouly under-estimated how long it takes to run 2.4 miles with pain stations. Instead, we just ran back to the AO. I notice this time no one needed additional instruction for the route — all made it to the parking lot at 131 without further comment.
When I arrived, we still had 4 minutes to go. The Q had it all under control. Or so he claims. YHC may not be a professional, but he’s not a (complete) moron. Everyone got on their six for pretzel crunch (right), LBC and pretzel crunch (left). May as well address all sides of those muscles hidden beneath the belly fat. Oh? Am I the only one with that problem? Well, I care about my fitness too.
Following 30 seconds of downward dog, we recovered, chatted, and prayed. I was reprimanded for almost forgetting name-o-rama, but I used the excuse that we don’t do back blasts anymore and names are not needed. Bama chided me (he didn’t need words; his look sufficed) and so we got in names. I suppose if you are interested in knowing who you worked out with, you might also be insterested in reading about the comraderie, at least from the perspective of YHC.
Thanks for joining me today. I’m not sure I qualify to Q, being the least fit of the bunch, but you can’t fail me for trying. I am always appreciative for the pax support. It amazes me that I have stuck with early morning workouts for over 4 years now — not a record I ever thought was possible before F3. It is the fellowship that keeps me coming back. God knows it’s not the burpees. Now go out and seize the day!
* I am proud to report a burpee-free workout. Not even one since Outlaw was not in attendance.