Four men and a dog gathered for a strange ritual in the jungles of Bailey Road Park. The ancient rite known as "Bungle in the Jungle" traces its roots back to Mesopotamia and Portland, Oregon. Brightly colored ornamental discs of various shapes and sizes are hurled by village elders through the trees and brush in an attempt to appease Frisbee: god of wind and air. Their goal? An almost impossible task for mortal men: a holy in one. Even with 18 opportunities at each outing, it has never once been accomplished—at least not in this tribe.
For penitence, the elders perform feats of strength, with the poorest performing among them suffering the ridicule of the others and the humiliation of a public castigation. Mercifully, the dog is spared judgment, since even among these primitive men it is understood that thumbs are required for any success at all in the ritual (although many of the performances by the men made it clear that thumbs certainly don't guarantee even a basic level of competence).
Punishments for failing to attain a holy in one rotated between 10 merkins, 10 peek-a-boo squats, or 10 sit-up toe-touches for each failed throw. Sprinting to each disc was necessary to stand a chance at the glory that comes with completing the most first-place finishes.
Nature—always a cruel mistress—spares no man. In the bowels of this mystical forest, trees—appearing out of nowhere—block the passage of the discs. Other times, the wind itself proves that it can be both friend and enemy.
In the end, the men appeased Frisbee, but not their savage thirst. That required another ritual involving a time-honored beverage known only to a chosen few—what natives call "coffee." This caustic libation is served hot and offers both soothing and stimulating effects the men rely on to return to their normal routines after the bizarre occurrences of the morning.
The men don't speak of these mysterious activities until the next time the Bungle in the Jungle issues its ancient clarion call to the village elders to once again demean themselves for the sake of fitness and fellowship, with a requisite smattering of faith to ensure safe passage for their noble spirits. It's a ritual that cannot be explained with logic or rationality—the only way to truly understand it is to experience it for yourself. The question is: are you truly man enough to do it?
Listen for the call. . .and if someday you hear the wind whisper "Let's Bungle in the Jungle," be ready with the reply: "Well that's all right by me."