BS's, BA's, MD's, DDS's, PhD's, GED's, MS's, MA's, JD's….this F3 sect is LADEN with uptempo degrees, yes it is. However, none of them, NOT ONE of them can be compared to sauntering over to the COT knowing that you've just been bestowed with yet another fictitious piece of paper known as your Q School diploma. Yes, that was today. Big Mean and Rentacop served as the co-Professors Emeriti and hammered into the spongy skulls of their willing but unsuspecting students such knowledge of dispensing indescribable carnal pain. Few have 'truly' attended this vernal indoctrination of discomfort, but those that do become truly 'Freed to Lead'. No stoles, no silly square hats with tassles, no combustable paper will give you the liberating feeling of being THAT MAN, the one who gets to go before his brethren, and calmly say, "The first exercise IS______, starting position move, in cadence, ONE, TWO, THREE"….and then it happens. No pause, no trepidation, no stalling. A boooming "ONE!" will be delivered back to you from the pax. Not once, but every time you count "ONE, TWO, THREE", you will get an escalating numerical digit, an integer, a whole number thrown back at you UNTIL you 'inflect', 'raise', 'stress', the ONE and THREE (eg. ONE, two, THREE)….then in HALTS, all of it, until you do the next thing. If you never did or said anything else you would have the eyes and ears of each and every pax member focused upon you, curious, wondering, "what will this guy make me do next?". It's truly an astounding process. Similar to the sun rising, ONE comes after you say "ONE, TWO, THREE". Similar to the sun setting, HALT comes after you say "ONE, two, THREE". So simple. Not the cornerstone of F3, but certainly a brick in the base layer that Dredd and OBT (Dean Dredd and Dean OBT, if you will) conjured up over 7.5 years ago. And for that…..we all owe them QUITE a round of applause. Please do so…..now. Go ahead, we'll wait. Nice work, thanks a bunch.
FNG-2 is Soul Glo, FNG-3 is The Glove, FNG-4 is Strahan, FNG-5 is Jim-from Sanford, ME! (the Altra rep)
FNG-1 is Bonanza, one of the the five students today completing the necessary requirements of Q School. The other four (in no particular order) were Lady Bug, Chicken Little, Shotz, and Stroker Ace. Now, here is where it gets interesting. Tomorrow is the Lord's day, so no 'official' F3RCUSA workouts will be held. Then, thanks to the genius of Finger Lickin' Good, Monday we will begin the Week of the Virgin, Virgin Week, Vee Dub, etc. (this week has more nicknames than one Imus B. A. Jellyfinger did during his freshman year of medical school). EACH DAY this week, a 'virgin' Q will be held by our graduates, by our newly minted men that are now Freed to Lead. Pull up your bootstraps, don your gloves, grab your best F3 attire, and post this week to support our Virgins! (that sounded better before it was typed:-/ All are asked to do your BEST not to mumblechatter them out of ever wanting to do another Q. Q's are like sexual positions, variety is always nice, you can always learn something, it may hurt a little, once in a while you may strain a muscle (or two), and at the end, you'll wonder why you hadn't done that earlier in your life.
While Big Mean and Rentacop (wearing tweed coats with suade elbow patches, oxfords, penny loafers, rounded spectacles, and nipping on sweet smelling pipes) proselytized their students into a mindset that F3 expects, deserves, and boasts of its Q's, 25 other men learned that Q School might've been a better alternative to the dirty, sweaty, rocky, smelly, windy, poop run (yes….we did a poop run) filled workout that served as an alternative to the most prestigious Q School this side of the northern part of the southern central North Carolina border (or TPRoD for short). A pledge was lead by our very own RESPECT, Lear. It was charismatic, as it always is.
Warm Ups: (IC) SSH 20, IST 15, CDD 10. Mozy to middle parking lot. High Knees, R/L Karaoke, Butt Kickers. MC (Merkin Circle) 10 (ten) each IC of Wide Grips, ReguLAR, Diamond, and Supermans (feet and hands spread).
The Thang: Mozy to lower playground, Dips and Squats, IC, 3 sets, 15, 10, 5. Mozy to boat launch. Plank up head to head, ten (10) Partner Slap Merkins (these are harder than they 'read', I assure you) Search for rocks, water was high, wander WEST to find stores of properly sized rocks. Grab rock, three (3) sets each of curls, mil presses, skull crushers, and goblet squats, of 10 IC. Each exercise was followed by a bear crawl up a short hill. OF SIGNIFICANCE here is that The Glove and Strahan led most of the cadence calls……impressive.
Poop Run. The pax assembled upon a line at the bottom of the parking lot, then sprinted up to the pooper (port-o-let, really), about 75 yards. Slow mozy up to Stumpy Creek park, slalom running dozens of posts, then selecting one 'lucky' post to be 'yours' for 15 IC Incline Merkins. Mozy up to Crack's Crack Den. Divide into two uneven groups. One group does Declines, the other Squats, IC. Three sets of 10, 8, 6 of this nonsense. Mozy up to middle parking lot (where we ran warmups) for BC (Burpee Circle). Burps, OYO, of 8, 6, 4, 2 were requested upon the pax by YHC, making good on delivering Finger Licking Good his unsolicited request of 20 Burpees to round out the workout. Mozy back to upper parking lot for:
Mary: IC Low Flutter 10, Freddie Merc's 15, Mason Twists 15, Box Cutter's 15. Recover, recover.
Moleskine:
-This workout was a smoker, pure and simple. The Q was DONE by the post inclines……but the show needed to go on.
-C'mon, what do you MEAN you've never heard of a 'poop run'. You mightn't ever heard of one….but you've certainly DONE one!
-Congrats to all Q School graduates, Bonanza, Lady Bug, Shotz, Stroker Ace, and Chicken Little. Thanks to Big Mean and Rentacop for serving as the well adorned prestigious Professors today.
-SPECIAL shout outs go to Strahan and The Glove, 2.0's of Brushless and Frosty, respectively, who helped YHC out during the rockwork as well as Mary with exercise calls, counts, and yes….even the 'inflection' call of 'ONE, two, THREE'.
-Finger Lickin' Good was requesting burpees, partner hand slap merkins, and other ancillary additions to today's Q. Thanks for your contributions, FLG!
-Let's go Vee Dub! Great concept Finger Lickin' Good!
#thestandard was run by Loveshack, Lady Bug, Rentacop, Strutter, Jim (FNG), and Cheez Whiz and Rucked by Contra, Chief and Crack
-Gentlemen, thanks kindly to all for your stalwurt peformance at The Glen today!