The Gong Show w/ Canuck Barris

Event Date

Sep 24, 2024

AO


With the threat of rain looming, the humidity thick as molasses and the temperature as warm as toast, I wasn’t sure if I’d be a sad clown or a host to a dozen at Viking today. And so I was pleasantly surprised to find 3 stalwart companions patiently awaiting my arrival and a 4th pulling into the lot behind me. Edsel looked longingly for his typically reliable partner, but apparently Nugent was not up to the challenge that awaited the pax today. JB was listening to the Jackson 5 with his leg propped up on his car door, and Canuck was — well — doing Canuck things. When Waffle House walked up, YHC announced that we would be moseying just inside the park for CoP.

It took mere moments to meander to the first stop where we kicked things off with some SSH. JB opted to drive around to minimize his steps in light of his recent knee surgery. We were preparing to do a 2nd exercise when a box truck came driving through the grass, looking like it was going to barrel into us before swerving at the last minute to unload lawnmowers. It was not going to be a quiet, serene workout this morning.

Next up was the Squatty Potty — squat down on “1”, remain down for “2” and “3”, and then back up on “4”. JB had mentioned that his PT told him to avoid squats and lunges and being the kind Q that I am, I opted to knock them out before he arrived. But the JB-mobile pulled up as we were in the middle of our reps, and JB joined us for the remainder of the count. YHC reiterated the disclaimer before adding Windmills, Longsnappers and Hillbillies.

Next up was a mosey to the rock pile. JB got there first (via hybrid). Each of us grabbed a rock and then proceeded down to the soccer field lot (JB opted for a KB). Using the parking lines on the right side, we proceeded to PLOP — aka Parking Lot Of Pain. At the first line you do 1 rep of an exercise. Move to the 2nd line for 2 reps and on to the last line with increasing reps at each line. There were 15 lines in total and it always seems so easy until the 8th or 9th line. After each “set” we did an exercise or 2 at the end before returning. That looked something like this:

  • Shoulder Press; LBCs
  • Curls; Knee-to-Chest/Child’s Pose
  • Skull Crushers; Low Flutter/Merkins
  • Upright Row; Arm Stretches

We returned the rocks. Some Zamperini’d; some did not. One drove back. We moseyed up the hill to the 2nd light post where we stopped for Suzanne Somers. Canuck attempted to shame the Q for doing half-ass BLMFers and then critiqued YHC’s form, but I stuck to my plan and ignored his bullying. Shortly after flapjacking, a park staff member came through with their truck forcing us to move out of the way for a moment. After he passed, four of us finished the 2nd set while one returned to the cars.

Anyone who has worked out with Canuck knows he doesn’t put up with shenanigans. How exactly he defines what qualifies as mischief is a closely held secret. In any event, if you’re lucky enough to have him at your workout, it will feel a little like the Gong Show where you wait with bated breath to see how long you’ll last before he opts to go his own way. YHC considers it a victory that I was not Canucked until 40 minutes into the beatdown today!

The rest of us returned to the cars with a minute to spare which allowed just enough time for a forward fold and a Casey Kasem (reach for the stars) before this sweaty Q called Recover x2. Truth be told, we still had 30 seconds to go, but the MQ was off running somewhere so he’ll never know.

Following a short prayer (including petitions for Mel’s recovery following hand surgery and peace for James following a difficult round of chemo), 80% of us reconvened at Starbucks where we met up with Chilly Willy and Hippie for some lively conversation. Kudos to the men that joined me this morning! I appreciate the camaraderie and accountability.