The Sign Said No Animals So YHC Brought The Zoo


When YHC stepped outside this morning and saw it had rained overnight, he wondered if anyone would show for his Fallout Q. Blackbeard (aka Blackbae, aka Blackbear, aka GrayGoat, aka Saltbae) is known for bringing the salt which, when added with water, makes it … salty. As he pulled into the empty lot at 0524 he opined that the boys must have chosen the #bluepill but as the clock drew closer to go time, seven other men made the right decision to get stronger by doing something dumb together. This is how it went down.

Appetizer

  • SSH x20 IC
  • Forward Straddle Hop x20 IC (scissor kick front to back with seal clap)
  • IST x15 IC
  • Hillbillies x15 IC (IST with elbow/knee to outside)
  • Cotton Picker x10 IC
  • Abe Vigoda x10 IC (S-L-O-W windmill)
  • Burpee x5 OYO

Main Course

Grab a rock and head for track. Partner up.

  • Overhead Press x15 IC
  1. Partner 1 Bear Crawls in one direction while Partner 2 runs in opposite direction
  2. When you meet, Situp Gitup x5 each
    • Morph of the Big Boy Situp which entails a situp to a standing position while partner holds feet. YHC did not think he could do that so modified to have partner pull you up by hand, aka Partner Gitups. For Mona Lisa and me, these wound up being the latter
  3. Partner 2 Bear Crawls back toward rocks while Partner 1 runs in opposite direction
  • Full Curl x15 IC
  1. Partner 1 Crab Walks in one direction while Partner 2 runs in opposite direction
  2. When you meet, Atta Boy Merkins x10 each
    • Like a Shoulder Touch Merkins (aka Snake Eyes Special) except you touch your partner’s shoulder and say “atta boy!”
  3. Partner 2 Crab Walks back toward rocks while Partner 1 runs in opposite direction
  • Skull Crusher x15 IC
  1. Partner 1 Gorilla Swings in one direction while Partner 2 runs in opposite direction
  2. When you meet, Prisoner Squat x10 each
    • Used the back of the bleachers as our partners mounted us
  3. Partner 2 Gorilla Swings back toward rocks while Partner 1 runs in opposite direction
  • Upright Row x15 IC
  1. Partner 1 Frog Jumps in one direction while Partner 2 runs in opposite direction
  2. When you meet, Partner Derkins x10 each
    • Derkins with feet on partner as he planks
  3. Partner 2 Frog Jumps back toward rocks while Partner 1 runs in opposite direction
  • Chest Press x15 IC

Rocks back and head for grass beside playground.

  • Absolutions x10 IC
    • This is an 8-count exercise taken from f3nation.com
    • Begin in plank position
      1. Knees to chest in tuck position
      2. Knees back out in plank
      3. Left elbow to ground
      4. Right elbow to ground
      5. Plank jack, legs spread
      6. Return to elbow plank
      7. Left hand to ground
      8. Right hand to ground (back in plank)

Just Desserts

  • LBC x20 IC
  • Pretzel Crunch, left side x15 IC
  • Pretzel Crunch, right side x15 IC
  • Recover, recover

The Bill

  • YHC joked pre-workout about doing a kamikaze on the rain-soaked fields which almost caused the pax to pack it up. But these men are made of tougher stuff and accepted their fate, whatever it might be
  • The first mumblechatter occurred during the forward straddle hop. A sadclown was passing by for a solo run on the track and the pax concurred that no one would join us when seeing us doing something so gay (not that there’s anything wrong with that)
  • Complaints about burpees (I assume that’s why we do them) which reminded me to give my belated disclaimer: if I ask you to do something you don’t like, you may substitute burpees. Make that another workout where no one felt what I asked them to do was worse than a burpee
  • There is a sign as you approach the track that says no animals are allowed on town property. It was the incentive needed to bring a “zoo” workout this morning. Take that Town of Huntersville!
  • Little Finger claims he was never in jail, but knew just how to wrap his legs around his partner when mounting him for the prisoner squats
  • The pax complained when YHC went past 15 on the chest press. Many slurs about the size of my rock and breaking the pattern. You can thank The Count for adding in a flutter kick on his own. YHC felt he needed to be taught a lesson about following the Q to a T
  • The men lost count at number 5 or 6 on the Absolutions. I assume that was due to breathless excitement
  • Freepass sent me a pic of his weinke asking if it counted as a back blast for PAINinsula. My first thought was, “you need to write down that generic plan?” I hope the men at Fallout appreciated the #snatched workout YHC offered versus something #onfleek from a decade ago
  • Don’t click on the textual smiley link when writing a back blast. If you do, you will lose the entire thing and start over. I learned the hard way. Who created this dumb website anyway?!
  • Thanks to The Count for taking us out in prayer this morning
  • Thanks to Lawn Dart for the opportunity to Q (even if he missed my PB, asked if I knew what I was doing pre-workout and probably doubted there would be a back blast despite my constant weasel shaking towards others about writing them)

In hindsight, I’m glad Gnarly Goat talked me into this thing called F3. I had my doubts early on and slid backwards physically many times. But in my fourth year I am beginning to make some traction, mostly due to getting serious about the fuel to go along with the burn. I’m below 240 (was 290 at Christmas) and making a point of Q-ing at least one workout per week. I would never have considered Q-ing a workout in another region and plan to Q in Myrtle Beach in June. I may be one salty SOB on social media, but I am appreciative of all my brothers — even the ones who insist back blasts are pointless. You all have managed to make me a (slightly) better person than I was pre-F3. Aye!