THEE 1st (And Probably THEE Last) F3 Lake Norman Taco Eating Competition – 6 competed – 1 Dominated

by | Dec 13, 2018 | Backblasts | 0 comments

The rules are covered in the pre-blast.   For those of you who are too lazy to look:

  1. 30 Minutes – timed
  2. 20 Beef tacos with cilantro and lime on a soft corn tortilla 
  3. 1 Beef burrito with beans, rice – Tacos first
  4. Winner take all

Warm O'Rama

  • Lots of nervous chatter.  Who has it?  Who doesn't?
  • The early speculation was on Mona Lisa's prowess. 
  • Jolly Roger showed up with both 2.1 and 2.2 
  • Turncoat, DonHo and SweetC, and BigMean all had commits and were unable to make it. 
  • We were seated for maximum action. Mr Burns used strategy to line up with a clear view of the DarkHorse Kentucky Favorite – JollyRoger
  • Mona Lisa and Jaws squared up at the other end of the table while RamRod and I went in the middle.   TClaps on your beard young one.  It tells a story. 
  • FP, C, K, M and D ate a much more pallatable meal and enjoyed the show! Tclaps gentlemen for having the brains to avoid this show.   Freepass and Calypso covered parts of the show on FaceBook live.  
  • RamRod led us to glory with a heartfelt and deep prayer while blessing our food. 

The Main Thang

The tacos were served in batches.  7 tacos on the first plate.  The time started and …

You know how kids talk about seeing Santa?   It was just a flash out of the corner of your eye?   Because I was positioned next to Jolly I knew I had to run my own race.  I was doing great.   I was taking bites when he did.  Then…out of the corner of my eye, I noticed he was on the second plate of tacos while I was starting number 4.  

Then a Mexican Revolution broke out…. Santa has an Elf!   Right behind Jolly, Mr Burns was moving onto his second plate.  Tclaps for MrBurns to gut this one out.   The dude couldn't move and still bellied up. 

I steadied myself and remembered my training.   Run my race.   I could catch them at the end. 

UMMMMM…. NO.  

Jolly was done with 20 tacos in less than 8 minutes.   That man can finish tacos faster than I can run a mile. 

Jolly started working on the massive Burrito. My God that thing looked like a cow.   Jolly opened it up and went to work. 

Mr Burns flamed out at 18.5 Tacos.   Note – it took him less than 10 Minutes. 

YHC kept going to the 20 Minute mark and died on Taco 17.5.  My body literally could not bear another bite of cilantro or onion. 

Jaws, Mona Lisa and RamRod finished strong and pushed through their second plates to end at 14,14 and 15.   A fine respectable showing.  But then again, Custer's guys all claimed they were great marksman too. We were overrun. 

Mr Burns tried to get Jolly to throw up by baiting him on finishing the burrito.   Like a young Ali, Jolly fought out of his corner and finished bites as the waitress was clearing the table.   Congrats champ. 

Operation Sweet Tooth Donations

  • The competitive PAX finished 99 tacos. 
  • The 2.0s and sepctators finished another 26. 
  • Total Tacos Comsumed = 125 
  • 125 X 2 = $250 Donation to OST PLUS a generous $100 donation from a PAX who couldn't attend PLUS another $50 collected on the scene equals $400 donated to OST

The Nekked Man Moleskin

  • So…
  • ……. much…..
  • ………………… onion (others said cilarntro)
  • If anyone thinks they can do better.. try it for fun.  I dare you.   I double dog dare you.
  • Mr Burns came out of the gate hot.  He stayed a taco behond Jolly despite nearly gagging on his first one. 
  • DonHo gets the credit for making the flavors all the same and only adding onions and cilantro.  That killed everyone.  At 17.5 I hit an onion.  My body shuddered like wet brakes on a car. That folded me like a cheap suit. 
  • I think this was a hilarious competition.  It needs to find a rotation.   I'm retiring in 3rd place and will enjoy smelling like ground beef for the next two days. 
  • Mooch and others were kind enough to sweep up the mess and arrange for the leftovers to be carted home. 
  • I'll never forget the two police who came in during the competition.  They just laughed. 
  • Line of the night belongs to Dallas 'Did you bring the kids here for internet'
  • RamRod had great giggles during the blessing. 
  • Jaws was in it until he hit that moment.   I got to see it.   That one bit that was a bridge too far.   His body just revolted. 
  • Strong work gents.  
  • Once I get the belt Jolly, I'll come to one of your workouts or we'll get a beer for the ceremony. 

Have a Happy Holiday – I'll see you all in the gloom.  Just not tomorrow.  

Recover, recover. 

Mus Macho Points

  1. First place – Jolly – 45 points
  2. Second place – Mr Burns – 38 points
  3. Thrid place – NiteStick – 35 points
  4. Participation points:
    1. Jaws – 30
    2. Mona Lisa – 29
    3. Ram Rod – 30
  5. Spectator Attendance Points – 5 points for cleaning up and being hilarious and tech support
    1. Kosar – 20 points
    2. FreePass – 20 points
    3. Calypso – 20 points
    4. Dallas – 20 points
    5. Mooch – 20 points

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