Our prodigal F3 son Moses reapeared after squandering his inheritance on a European vacation (better known as "fahrvergnügen fartsacking"). Given his nickname, his newly sprouted full beard, and his extended absence, I half expected him to appear with two stone tablets. The beard, we were told, resulted when his "razor broke"–an excuse that's second in lameness only to "the condom broke."
In the beginning, there was a warmup:
- Boogey Around the Field
- Goose Steps
- Cactus Arms
- Bobby Hurleys
- Bear Squats
- Girl Fights
- Big-Boy Bicycles
Then Jersey Boy said, "Let there be the thang…"
- Wall Planks
- Sheryl Sandbergs
- Side Wall Planks
- Aussie Triceps Extensions
- Home Stretch
- Armageddon 20
- Stair Sidestep
- Stair Bear
- Stair Skate
- Stair Crab (Boar Hog boldly started out with the feet-first version, which is the difficulty equivalent of strapping on a Vespa)
- Stair Calf-Raises
- LIttle Baby Flutter Crunch Press
- Armageddon 15
- Mosey Home
- Roll-Up
- Metronomes
- Halo Left
- Halo Right
- Rock the Boat
- Oblique V-Up
- Upward Dog
- Superman Pulse
The mumblechatter was strong today, with the always self-effacing Boar Hog reminding us that he has the capacity for a-hole-istic behavior (thank you, Captain Obvious), Moses recounting tales of his European vacation that would make Chevy Chase blush (walls too thin, indeed!), and even Waffle House dropping an uncharacteristic but funny f-bomb. Jethro and Boar Hog made sure I knew when the rep count was excessive with their Generic Geriatric Grunts (after age 40, physical exertion, sex, and bowel movements all produce the same sounds).
Moses took us out for the COT and 100% of the BRPax attended the Q Source at Waterbean, where Boar Hog and Moses had a good time calling me out for promoting the upcoming FUEL meeting (this Wednesday, 6:20am at the Birkdale Starbucks) while indulging in my weekly egg-and-cheese biscuit treat from McDonalds. When you get to my level, gentlemen (19 super-healthy meals out of 21 in a week and an 11-ingredient vegetable-only juice every night), then I'll give you a whole bag of stones to cast. In your defense, however, the circumstances were irresistably ironic and required public castigation, so good on ya'.