As I was speeding through the red light at Gilead and Statesville to get to DPK on time, I wondered if Jolly had plans to route Odyssey past Cauldron. Turns out I would not be disappointed. Likewise, I was not disappointed in the turnout either. 10 men were ready to go at 0530. Did they come for an easy workout, or in order to stay dry? I don’t know, but when it was all over, they got neither. Here’s how it all played out:
BEFORE THE THANG
Five men got in some early work with a mostly dry standard. The Force, Frontier and Turnpike ran uphill repeatedly while passing Frogger and Rocket who were always letting gravity dictate direction.
DURING THE THANG
YHC led the pax to the basement Zamperini style for the warmup:
- SSH x25 IC
- Slow Squat x15 IC
- IST x10 IC
- CDD x10 IC
- Cotton Picker x10 IC
Sufficently warmed, I had the pax leave their bells behind in favor of blocks. With 11 men in attendance, we had exactly enough blocks (thanks Carpetbagger!) for each man to have two. We took our two blocks — farmer style — up a flight of stairs, dropped off one at the 2nd level, then carried the other to the top deck, skipping the 3rd level where Camp Gladiator was hosting a rave party. With blocks dispersed, we returned to the basement.
Next YHC pulled out a deck of cards. The instructions were to ignore the number on each card (only the exercises mattered). The pax were to run to the top deck, perform 10 reps each of the three exercises (SC or IC per the norm for that exercise), descend to 2nd level, repeato, return to basement, repeato and Zamperini until the six returned. We would repeat the cycle, drawing three new cards each time.
- Hand Release Merkins, Bent Over Rows, Lawnmowers
- Rocky Balboas, Hand Release Merkins, Chest Press
- Skull Crushers, Curls, Groiners
- Dips, Chest Press, Burpees
YHC was prepared for a final ascent to collect blocks and return to basement, but the pax were good about picking up after themselves so we move on to Mary.
- Dot the I’s x12 IC
- Touch Them Heels x12 IC
- Can Openers x6 IC (each leg)
When Frogger declared it a solid workout, we took that as a sign and recovered x2.
AFTER THE THANG
- With no FNGs present, the disclaimer was clear: DPK not responsible and DBAP.
- Evidently some pax are made of sugar as they opted to remain in the stairwell on top deck to avoid the wetness.
- These men might want to consider FiA which meets in the deck as well (although they haven’t learned the art of mumblechatter yet).
- Some of the pax were uncertain of the number of reps for burpees. Never mind the instructions clearly stated “10 of each exercise”.
- Turnpike’s vehicle mysteriously relocated to the top deck halfway through the workout.
- At one point there was an explosion. At first it was unclear what had happened, but it turns out it was just #antifa running by on their way to another protest.
- YHC is proud to announce that The Force had 10 fingers at today’s workout.
- Gnarly Goat and Eeyore drove all the way from The General to join us for #coffeeteria (or was Goat just running from the law following his fender bender?)
- Frogger announced a #weinke exchange program in CoT. Hopefully he doesn’t get the short end of the stick.
- Snake Eyes has the Q at the Estate. As Mighty Jungle MQ, I hate to see Toxic bypass St Mark, but I endorse a solid Saturday bootcamp whereever it takes place.
- Who else thinks Ultraman should make DPK official? At the very least, it would allow the Incogs to find something new to complain about.