The game was afoot. Literally.

After a solo beta test last week at Viking, the Sequence IRL™ game was officially launched this morning at 0532. Sequence IRL™ is a test of strength, stamina, strategy, and probably at least one other word that starts with ST. ¹

If you care about the rules, see the sheet below. If you don’t care about the rules, then aren’t you the little non-conformist rebel! You’re probably a guy who sees a sign that says “Shirts and Shoes Required” and enters with no pants on. Next thing we know, you’ll be wearing white after Labor Day. You make me sick.

Where was I? Oh, yes, the cones. Beldar and Prymaat from Remulak loaned me some of their sexy cones but I was unable to procure a senso-ring, which would have been hot. ²

I used some dry-erase markers (I couldn’t find any wet-erase ones) and labeled 9 cones with a number, an exercise, and a rep count. I then set them out in random locations around the AO. So random, in fact, that I forgot where a couple of them were. Regardless of Team 1’s skepticism, I forwent³ helping my team navigate since I was both game master and participant.

We divided into teams based on coding variants in our CARD9 and IL18RAP genetic markers. Thanks to the tricorder I stole during my brief stint on the other side of a reality portal I entered in 1989, that only took 2 minutes. ⁴

Team 1: Big Cheese, Canuck, Jazz Hands, Blackbeard

Team 2: Hollywood, Shadow, Jersey Boy, and sometimes Hippie

Instructions were read, maps were disseminated, and the players were set in motion. The teams started going in the same direction, but quickly diverged. Following the other team is ill-advised, since nobody knows where they goes.

Hollywood took the leadership role for Team 2 and navigated us masterfully, with some crucial help from Shadow. Team 1 opted for the “divide and conquer” approach, but promptly forgot about the conquering part and were thereafter spotted in various combinations wandering through parking lots and darkened streets like blind rats on methamphetamines.

Team 2 took the gold with 8 out of 9 cones completed. Team 1. . .let’s just say that they came in “next.” They should hold their heads up high, though. Everyone has a role in life to play, even if it’s just to let others shine.

Team 2 won a cash prize of a $2 bill and an F3 magnet. Team 1 got F3 stickers (stickers are more in their wheelhouse, if you know what I mean. I presume they put them on their Trapper Keepers.) ⁵

Thanks to all in attendance for showing up and helping me work out the kinks (usually I have to work out my kinks on Only Fans).

Oh, yeah: exercises, COT, and coffee were shoehorned in there somewhere, too.

We will revisit Sequence IRL™ in another place and time. Perhaps on the other side of that portal. . .

¹   “Stupidity” comes to mind.

²   If you’re too young to get this reference, Google is your friend. Bing probably is, too. But Chat GPT is definitely not your friend because you know that you always like to be the smartest person in the room. 

³   It’s a word. Look it up. 

⁴   That’s what she said. (Not the part about the tricorder, but those last few words. Oh, and maybe the part about entering the portal, too. She likes that.) 

⁵  Trapper Keepers are considered cool by certain people on Team 1, so don’t judge.