The scene was that of an old western as a small army of unruly gunfighters converged on a deserted, frost beaten town square. By foot, by horse and by clown car they came, with one unifying objective; to rape the horses and ride off on the women. The awestruck townsfolk could do nothing but take cover and wait for the dust to settle… And to the victor went the plethora of piñatas.
Here’s the Good, the Bad and the Ugly:
Mosey from fountain to deserted theater parking lot and take an easy lap
High knees, Butt kickers
Sprint (about 40 yards) x 2
(Remember, it’s 23 degrees out here!)
The Good: Circle the Wagons and Get Warm
Disclaimer
IC unless otherwise noted
SSH x 20
Slow Squat x 15 (down for 3, up on 4)
Windmill x 20
Mountain climber X 20
Slow Merkin x 10 (down for 3, up on 4)
The Bad Thang
Burp Merk Ladder (1st burpee, 1 merkin, 2nd burpee, 2 merkins, 3rd burpee, 3 merkins and so on up to 10 merkins, then descend back to 1- Total: 19 burpees, 100 merkins)
Firing line on theater wall
People’s chair with air press (60 sec)
Ascending Testicles (start with feet on the wall 3 feet off the ground and walk them higher as you complete the derkin sets- OYO)
x 10 Derkins at 15 degrees
x 10 Derkins at 45 degrees
x 10 Derkins at BTTW (for those who could)
People’s chair with seal claps (60 sec)
Line up along end caps of parking isles
Bear crawl to 1st island, 20 Carolina dry docks (OYO)
Bear crawl to 2nd island, 16 Jump squats (OYO)
Sprint back to end cap, low flutter- wait for six
Crab walk to 1st island, 20 Carolina dry docks (OYO)
Crab walk to 2nd island, 16 Jump squats (OYO)
Sprint back to end cap, low flutter- wait for six
Lunge walk to 1st island, 20 WWII sit-ups (OYO)
Lunge walk to 2nd island, 16 Jump squats (OYO)
Sprint back to end cap, low flutter- wait for six
Spiderman Crawl to 1st island, 20 WWII sit-ups (OYO)
Spiderman Crawl to 2nd island, 16 Jump squats (OYO)
Sprint back to end cap, low flutter- wait for six
Repeato, Repeato
(cut short 2nd round of Lunge Walks and Spiderman Crawls due to time)
Mosey from lot to fountain
Mary
Rosalita x 20
Homer to Marge x 5 (down on my count)
Freddie Mercury x 20
Down and Hold Merkin (The Toxic Special) x 10 (down and hold… and hold….. and hold, and up)
Recover, Recover
COT
The Ugly Moleskin
TClaps to all who braved this frigid morning to get better. You are stronger for it. Among those were two FNG’s, one first post, who vowed to return, and one second post, who from this day forth shall be known as “Dry Rub”. Welcome, Brother!
WD- Hasselhoff, WB- Han Solo
2 questionably insane PAX (DonHo, Lego) for a 0415, 5mi speed ruck.
Did I mention it was cold? The first shot was fired and we were off. Lego was the first to heckle with a “sure is a lot of running” remark and the PAX chatter was on. It lasted through much of the warmup with Outlaw critiquing form, others cadence, but came to an abrupt stop with the Burk Merk Ladder, which brought out the first BS call of the day. YHC agreed, as 100 merkins in a short time can be brutal. Once the Ladder was scaled most had forgotten the temps and we were on to the wall.
The meat of the workout came with the Bear Crawl, Crab Walk sets which totaled 80 Carolina dry docks, 96 Jump squats and 40 WWII sit ups mixed in with the Bear Crawls, Crab Walks, Spidey Crawls and Lunge Walks. The Low Flutter in between sets was beaten in to the point that YHC didn’t even have to announce it. Note to self: The PAX can learn through repetition. There were more BS calls, all taken as complements of course. Not sure who because it was dark, but after one BS call someone announced that Respects don’t have to follow the Q, which probably means I should make the next beatdown more Respect friendly. On second thought… NOPE!
And then there was Mary. After all the low flutter in the previous set Outlaw correctly called low flutter as the first exercise of Mary, so as not to give him the pleasure YHC quickly audibled to Rosalita. With one minute left YHC opened Mary up to the PAX for suggestions, and as hoped Toxic quickly grabbed the opportunity for his infamous down and hold merkin, which hurt like heck and always seem to drag on longer than YHC can handle. It has got to be the best and worst way to end a workout, and for that, Toxic, I am thankful.
YHC,
Smokey